Lyrical Lies and Tabloid Truths

falling in love all over again

2011-03-08T23:57:00.002+08:00

I'm not sure if "kids these days" (can't believe i'm uttering these words myself) still learn about Shakespeare's Sonnet 18 in highschool for SPM but I really hope they do and I hope they appreciate it and have the ability to understand it and fully appreciate it as much as I didn't then. Back then I thought, "Oh yeah it's be Shakespeare I like it because it's by him and he's a famous English writer and I want to sound smart and cultured."

After reading it again tonight in my set of Shakespeare collection (which i only got for $40 from Borders with my dearest Edward Couper) I am ashamed of my immature behaviour in high school. I did not fully understand the beauty of this piece nor did i appreciate it for the right reason.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.

Read it out loud softly and slowly to yourself, as if you were reading it to someone you love. REad it as if you're not just reading a sonnet written by a 16th century writer but as yourself delivering sweet compliments and subtle love messages to your beloved. Notice how smooth and easy it is to read. it just flows from one sentence to the other and when all these sentences are pulled together you get a sonnet.

A sonnet is generally a fixed poem form consisting of 14 lines. Sonnet means "little song" and are short lyrical poems. The original form of sonnets are 14 lines with the first 8 lines arranged to the rhyme scheme of abba abba and then the final sextet with a rhyme of cdecde or simply cdcdcd. What Shakespeare has done was maintained the 14 line limit but introduced the simple yet satin-like rhyme scheme of abab cdcd efef and gg the last two are called the closing rhymed heroic couplet. The final two lines makes a final statement and has to rhyme with each other. Overall not an easy task to write a sonnet let alone a captivating one that really hits home and as they say, home is where the heart is.

Conclusion: my thoughts on Shakespeare as a literature genius has never faltered but now I fully understand why he is a genius.

"So long lives this and this gives life to thee"- as long as your work continues to exist, you shall live forever

you're wrong

2010-09-07T01:59:00.003+08:00

"I'm afraid that you'll never find someone who can take care of you like I do, emotionally, your emotional outburst no one but me can handle that." Was what he said to me more than a year ago. I believed him but I didn't care. I knew that if no one could take care of me better than he did, then it's better to never have anyone. I knew I wouldn't regret it.

A year later I found out he was wrong. I found someone who's been so amazingly sweet to me. Who doesn't manipulate me, but lets me make up my own mind. Someone who still gives me hugs and kisses when I'm wrong. Someone who comes to find me at uni at 5am in the morning because he's been thinking about me throughout the entire night he just has to see me. Who would change not just for me but for 'us'.

Who always makes me feel all right because he makes it all right again. I feel safest in his arms. Like no one and nothing can hurt me when his arms are holding me close to his chest so I can hear his heartbeat and know that he is real and alive and it makes me feel alive too. Someone who I can't get angry at when I see his face because I can see how sorry he really is and I know he really loves me. Someone I can't stop thinking about even when I try to because it makes me miss him more. Someone I trust so much with myself and my emotions. He makes me confident all the time and gets disappointed in me when I don't do things that's good for me. And I don't want to disappoint him either because I just care.

Someone that I make my priority sometimes even though I shouldn't because I can't help it. He brings out the best in me and points out my qualities that I never noticed. He's my boyfriend and I love him and best of all he proved the previous wrong.

just when you thought you lost it

2010-08-02T20:47:00.002+08:00

Having a lunch conversation with Jun Yeu we mentioned how we lost inspiration to write songs and we only did covers so far I actually did feel sad about it. I felt like I lost something I thought I had and will forever have with me. I took it for granted that it will always come when i need it so when I did have a thought I was too lazy to pen it down.

Well after dinner and after listening to a bit of Michelle Branch and I thought of the guy who can make me smile so wide and hold it for so long that my face would hurt, I had it. Well i only got to 2 lines, then I was about to just close the notepad and then I told myself "NO! sit down and continue this, if it sucks that's natural you can just edit it later." 2 minutes later it was done, I knew how I wanted it to sound. I got my guitar (who is still nameless) out of the closet and I had it. I could hear Tzer showering outside my room but I still had it done and I was soo happy I felt like accomplished something great :D

Video might be up soon.

making the eye look bigger and brighter

2010-05-28T11:10:00.010+08:00

Before closeup

So here was where we left off after making her hair silver/white. I had already coloured the eye blue in there. I'm using Photoshop CS2.

Now firstly for the eye I used the dodge tool, set it to 17% exposure and range to Highlight. Then I used a brush the same size as the Iris and highlighted it a few times till it became light enough for thee blue to cover it. Then I chose a nice blur, set the colour opacity to 36% and the blending options to darken and I coloured the eye in. Now zooming in youcan see the blue tinge and that looks ery unnatural. We're gonna cover that darker part up with black.

Use a brush size that covers only the darker area and paint it black. Use a 20% opacity to gradually cover it up. It's always safer to put on light layers first. This part is optionl but I also then used bit of yellow to go around the colored part of the eye to bring out the green some more. Now we've got a sky and ocean combined colour. The eyes already look slightly bigger and brighter however if you want to make it bigger you can always use the liquify tool under Filter. Select the bloat tool, adjust brush size to slightly bigger than the eye and bloat it to as big as you want it to be.

So next we are going to get rid of the puffyness underneath the eye. This is the most fun. Use the spot heling tool and set it to replace and just go over the part you want to hide. You may find that someties the skincoloour doesn't blend but that's ok justgo over it again until you do, or you can use the clone stamp tool to select the area you would like to literally "clone". Then use it over the un even skin colour to blend it in. Also you can use the spot healing tool an adjust the mode to darken or lighten parts.

This is my result after a combination of "replace" and "darken" spot healing tool and the clone stamp tool.

So here's the befores and after results

How to photoshop black/brown hair to white/silver

2010-05-27T12:20:00.008+08:00

So here's the original. Her hair is black at the top and sort of brown at the bottom from previous colouring. She gave me a challenge to make her hair pink with white polka dots. Stupid me said I'd do it white with pink polka dots which was even harder and I wasn't sure if it will work.

So as usual we first get the photo on photoshop I'm using CS2 and we make a background copy by right clicking the image on the bottom right corner and selecting Duplicate Layer. Then we follow the same step as the previous tutorial where I coloured her hair orange and red. Now because white against black is weak you will have to make several layers over and over. Set your brush to 100% opacity and normal blending and just paint white all over the hair.

In the photo below her hair already looks grey because I've gone through 3 layers and combined them. you don't have to combine them. Then after you finished painting the parts you want. in the right hand corner change your blending options to "Soft Light" to create a more natural look. Use your eraser or history brush to touch up parts. Set the opacity to 68% to be more gentle on the photo. Repeat the entire process until you get the right shade you want. Don't worry about it not looking realistic yet. I'll go through that later.

Now after achieving the shade you want get your dodge tool and set exposure to 17% and your range to "Highlights". It's good if your original picture captures the light reflected off the hair because then you can use tht as your guideline. Use your dodge tool to go over the entire hair area first, then once you're done concentrate on those light reflecting parts only. This gives the illusion that the hair is part of the image.

Next post I'll go through something funky like adding polka dots to the hair and changing her eye colour. In the original she's wearing green/brown contacts, here I've changed it to blue.

How to photoshop black hair to orange/red

2010-05-27T01:23:00.007+08:00

Started out with me chatting to my bestie Lizzie and we somehow got this point where she sent me two photos and asked me to make her hair red/ bright. Then she went off for dinner. Here's the original photo. Isn't she just so cute?!

Firstly we start of by getting the photo onto photoshop. I'm using CS2. Make a copy of the background layer by right clicking "Background" and selecting "duplicate Layer". This is the layer you will be working on. (I'm really suppose to be sleeping/studying). Set your brush to "normal" and opacity to 100%. Then choose the brush tool and select your colour. It's better to choose a brush with a softer circumference. The size depends on you, larger brush would cover the larger parts quicker. Smaller sizes for those few strands of hair covering the eyes.

This part may seem intimidating but don't be afraid. Use your brush and cover the entire hair area or parts of it if you want to do streaks. There's no need to change your colours. Once you've finished with that on the right bottom corner where it says "Layers" you will see a white bar, that's your "Blending options". Choose "soft light" and your result should be as the picture after this.

You can play with the blending options to alter the results you get. Soft Light gives a more natural result while "Color" would give a more vibrant rockstar poster effect. Reminds you of Hayley Williams, no?

Play with colours as well! Here's a red because she requested, and a green just for laughs.

Pieces

2010-03-30T17:39:00.002+08:00

He said to me, "they can take us apart, but they can never take away our memories."

I realised I always spend too much time worrying about the future, thinking too far ahead and getting upset over something that hasn't happened and might not happen. Instead of worrying about the future I should concentrate more on my present and enjoy it. Because these are going to be the memories that will stay with me all my life. I need to make the most of it and make sure it's the best it will ever be.

Someday I'm going to look back and whether I think of this with a tear or a smile, nothing's gonna change it. It happened and hey, no regrets :)

jump then fall

2009-11-24T03:26:00.002+08:00

omg I've to seriously stop being nocturnal! Either that or find more people that are nocturnal like me besides Syasya and find a uni that has night classes instead of day time ones. Maybe I need to take night time jobs as well and by night time jobs I meant ones that allows me to remain in my clothes still.

3 hours till calculus exam and at first I was hyperventilating and now I'm just giving up hope. I'm seriously so gonna fail this anyways but then again I'm going to apply for a change of course so I'll be behind a year still anyways. But then apart of me is telling me not to. I hate giving in and I also hate losing which leaves me stuck to one option and that's to perservere and don't lose!

hmm 4 cans of red bull and I feel like throwing up or dancing. Preferably the latter. I keep thinking of my freedom after this paper and all the stuff I want to and NEED to do and at the same time i'd rahter the exam to be miraculously pushed to Friday so I'll have more time, I'd sing Hallelujah in the chapel if that happens.

I've also been having thoughts of getting run over by a car along the way so I won't have to sit for the exam. But that also means no clubbing on Thursday and Sunday. Again stuck in a bad situation.

On another note I'm in love all over again! With Red Jumpsuit Apparatus again. emo post-hardcore music gets me everytime!

"Step Right Up shoot an arrow on the target, my heart is an easy thing for you to win, don't worry if you miss I'll let you shoot again, my heart is an easy thing for you to win"

OMG Elias Reidy why did you have to leave the band!!! rarrr you and Ronnie Winters were like brothers not to mention yr the most perfect backup vocalist and guitarist for the band! Now it's all Ronnie alone :(

step right up

2009-11-24T02:45:00.006+08:00

pretty heart shaped and teardrop raised beads on buckle (won't fall off)

black tiered dress used once at my formal

close up of details and bow

belt might be sold together with yellow dress

yellow's not really my colour and trapeze dresses aren't really my style

I'm an Auntie!!!! wooo

2009-10-18T21:57:00.002+08:00

Finally!!

My cousin's baby boy just came into the world on the 18th October. Aww I can't wait to see him! and cuddle him, hold his lil hand and pinch his lil nose. omg so excited!! I want pictures of him scat! Can't wait till December man!

omg omg i get to go baby clothes shopping!!!

Beautiful

2009-10-17T05:12:00.002+08:00

A call,

You're waiting outside for me

A walk,

In the rain around the cemetary

You talk,

But what were we talking really?

A drive,

And you're still staring at me,

A kiss,

To end the night and leave me happy...

Not perfect, but beautiful.

heaven bend to take my hand

2009-10-08T21:18:00.003+08:00

"you're depressed.. listening to Sarah McLachlan..." House M.D.

my fave photo from today's photoshoot. And just a quick recap. it was awkward. Not just for you but for me too. Maybe it wasn't for you but it was for me. It showed in you but didn't show in me. She and she said it's obvious. Why am I denying? Is it because you don't or I don't?.. Just be straight up but take your time too.

for the sake of an update

2009-10-03T10:12:00.000+08:00

I just had a shower. I smell fresh! =D

last night was a good, good night

2009-09-28T23:03:00.004+08:00

AA after party!! not that I had many photos anyways. I always forget I have a camera with me and for shame my guy friend was more of (and a better) camwhore than me. He ended up taking the photos which I deleted most of them because I just look so blehhhh in them. Actually I look bad in all of the so I just picked the best. Imagine what 4 shots in a row can do. Thank you I take after my dad and sober up pretty quickly which sucked towards the end :(

What rocked the most was Rene's appearance with her friends who got Sya and I in! That girl is absolutely awesome! Cuz if we didn't go to the ball to get an orange tag we weren't able to go in. Advantages of being a photographer in a club ;)

The lights, the atmosphere, the song selection, the DJ was awesome!

Sadly I didn't take photos with Sya or Rene :( but the night was amazing! I was so surprised I knew so many people there! I would've regretted not going seriously. Thanks Syasya for coming with me otherwise I wouldn't know where to go. Thanks Sean for telling me to come, helping me cut the line, keeping me company, and looking after me.

P.S. should've logged out of yr fb account!

procrastinating and because it's the holidays!

2009-09-25T20:50:00.005+08:00

Yesterday was just totally awesome I'm still not over it. Met a whole new batch of people who are just totally awesome!! Sadly not many group photos :(

haha these are my personal faves and for Sean's sake I won't upload anymore.

Cassie's the best model ever.

2009-09-23T15:15:00.001+08:00

need to take more photosssss

emo again...

2009-09-20T23:45:00.001+08:00

I used to think that achievements make me happy. I thought that it is when I am at my happiest. I guess I was right. It is the happiest I can be at the moment. It never lasts long though. I know what will really make me the happiest. Movies don't affect my emotions. I've watched shows with my mother and friends and seen them cry. I found out something about me. I can only cry when I see unrequitted love. Because I know how it is like. One time too many.

Right now I feel like "I've ignored all that's real and true, all I need is you, when night falls on me, I'll not close my eyes." becuase I know I don't derserve... I'm sorry. But was there even anything to begin with. How could this happen yet again. I can't be happy for no one until I myself find happiness. And by happiness I mean true, real, everlasting...

What the started all this? I've been emo all night eversince I watched Tuck Everlasting. I swear it is the most beautiful movie I've ever watched. It's perfect. Set in the early 20th century, where gentlemen existed, where there were woods and white dresses. Where innocence was still in a young girl and boy. I repeat it was beautiful and just so sad. I would've waited for true love. I would've waited becuase I know that's when I'll receive happiness. And isn't happiness what everyone wants most? It jsut comes in different forms.

They jsut don't make good Disney Movies like they used to.

Does true love even exist anymore? If it does, I'll hold it out and wait. Even if it doesn't, "life is to be lived".

I'm sorry...

kiss the stars with me

2009-09-10T17:31:00.002+08:00

Cemetary
calm and peaceful
I feel warmth enveloping me

I think
I thought again of you
Why won't you go away

We only
Just met so briefly
But you've left an impression on me

I wish
I had let what almost
happened to happen

I can still
Hear your voice
And remember how it's soothed
this aching heart for just a few brief minutes
I'll treasure them

How you
quickly looked back at me
when you said something
you knew would've hurt me

Were you
Being tactful or a flirt
Either way in the end it hurt

Really badly
When I didn't let
what could've happened, not happen

Would it have been different?
Why would it have?

2009-09-07T23:55:00.002+08:00

Yes, I am here

No, I don't want to be

Yes, I am single

No, I don't want to be

Yes, I am shy

No, I don't want to be

Yes, I am

No, I am not

Yes, I would love to
sit next to you and watch you smile

No, I will not say that to
you

Yes, I did love watching that movie

No, I didn't like the ending

Yes, you are still unaware

No, I am not over it

Yes, I still have

No, I won't say

Maybe, someday,
eventually, finally.

when i'm ready

Father's Day...

2009-09-02T17:22:00.003+08:00

is over in Msia but I believe it's kinda soon in Australia. I don't know why we cant all have a standard date.

To my daddy who totally made my day today in his own cute, special way. I lvoe you so much. Thank you for making me feel so much better and bringing me back on my feet. Thank you for the laugh today and for being the bearer of great news with kong kong.

Filial daughter I shall try to be =D <3

dreamer

2009-08-29T23:58:00.002+08:00

I'm leaving on a jet plane! My own private jet. it's only for the weekend. I'll be home for around 2 days an return on monday morning just in time for my class. I'm gonna be home! I'm gonna be able to see you kong kong. I'll hug you and kiss you on the forehead.

I'll hold your hand in mine, gently and maybe, just maybe you'll hold mine back. You would slowly curl your fingers in to cover mine. And you'll have your eyes open. They'll be wise and shining just like how I last remembered them to be. And you'll be able to tilt your head up and smile. That adorable, contagious smile. And maybe, just maybe you'll be able to recognize me. You'll say I'm your daughter's daughter. You'll say my name and welcome me home again.

In my dreams...

I still remember how my mummy used to warn me not to take afternoon naps in front of you because you might get irritated. But one afternoon I started dozing off and you saw me. I told you I was sleepy (ngantuk) and you even let me sleep in your bedroom, on your bed. You fluffed the pillow for me so i'd be comfortable. You got out a blanket for me even though it was 30 degrees and it was afternoon.

Mama used to get ticked off because you'd go to the coffee shop near your house everyday. When you were wheelchair bound you were still so restless you wanted to move around. It took nearly 10 months but you were getting stronger again. You were so so cute kong kong. You'd refuse to use yr stick when the maid told you to but when I gave it to you you'd use it. You even held my hand for support. And you even started drinking water and feeding yourself. You peeled that mandarin by yourself.

We were happy you were getting better again. I was happy you were getting better again. I thought everything was getting better. But kong kong why did you have to get up when there was no one around to watch you.

I'm gonna see you soon kong kong, but that'll only be in my dreams. If God loves me please let me dream about it. Please wait for me in December. I'll be back and I'm going straight away to see you. I promise. just wait for me kong kong. I love you, Tiffany sayanglu. Tunggu untuk aku ok?

wish I could wait...

2009-08-28T21:21:00.002+08:00

I wanna go home! really really badly! How could they not have told me earlier! I don't know if I should be thankful or angry or upset. I'm obviously upset. Grandpa, kong kong I love you.. please please recognise me when I get back.

Please, I don't need to see you move your limbs again. I just need to hear that you CAN move them. I want to hear you speak again too. Why why why?! Why wasn't there anyone looking after him. Dear kong kong they kept the news away from me for a week.

one week he was in there for one week and they only told me 4 hours ago!! I could have booked flights in advance and be on the plane right now. I want to cry I AM crying!! why does shit after shit happen! Grandpa I lvoe you I hope you hear me, please move again, be good to the doctors and doctors please be good to him. You're so fragile. I love you so dearly. You need to eat again. I can imaigne you with tubes.. again..

I wanna go home...

please don't shrug me off your shoulders

2009-08-11T20:44:00.000+08:00

happy today, reasonably anyways :)

DAMN THEM!!!!

2009-08-08T17:10:00.002+08:00

I cannot believe uni changed my timetable! I am so unbelievably angry right now I have to vent! Now I'm not in the same urban tute as James and sya sya and cute guy in leather jacket and super nice tutor! I hate this shit. And I hate the weekends even more! They don't work during weekends so I can't go over and get it changed personally!

I'm incredibly pissed I cannot describe how pissed I really am! Okay not pissed just upset atm. Very very fucking upset!!! I don't give a damn about my natural tute because I had a crappy tutor anyways. die die die
! ASDFGHJKL

penfolder

2009-07-21T00:53:00.002+08:00

Now what ddoes that even mean? hmm I just wrote it cause I'm listening to that song atm. Let's see today's activities...

Yeap that sums it up :)

Tomorrow: teach my sis how to use my DSLR

materialistic, narcissistic and incomprehensive

2009-07-19T12:27:00.004+08:00

:) indeed I am all of the above, basically i just want to say I love my guitar, my new mp3 player, my new hair and my new dress :P

i see the signs, it's that time of month xD

2009-07-16T01:01:00.004+08:00

hello sudden mood swings again, I did not miss you.

but anyways I'm still in that debate over curling my hair or leaving it sraight? why must i be so indecisive?

Went back to the boutique to get that gorgeous royal blue empire waist greek goddess dress I wanted yesterday. But when I was at the store the sales person apologised saying a woman came in just 30 mins before I had and bought that very dress in green, red and... yeap my royal blue!!!! I was so pissed I was like wtf-ing inside, I was really raging. (pms -.-) and the lady kept trying to get me to try diff dresses but I kept saying no but she kept taking more I wanted to shout at her "don't you get the point??" but i knew it wasn't her fault. It's weird cuz my psychic feeling also told me I should've called the store in the morning to hold it for me.

Anwyays the owner of the boutique saw I was clearly upset. (I even dreamt of that dress!) and she called their branch in Bangsar to transfer one over for me. I was so touched :')

The rest of the day was great, I went for a walk with my sis, had raw veges for dinner at 4.15 (starving now), my brother and I got along beautifully today and I made two new youtube videos. :)

I'M ALL OUT OF LOVE

here's the link in case it uploads slow http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zh1olpHATL4&feature=channel

and

TEARDROPS ON MY GUITAR

here's the link in case this uploads slow http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPqyj1uXo6o

ENJOY...

ignore the video

2009-07-15T01:42:00.001+08:00

oh no direct video response thing totally fuzzes the quality!! ok will post a new one tomorrows now i'm going to bed.

call me slightly more confident =)

2009-07-15T01:31:00.002+08:00

I just watched Air Supply's acoustic version of their song, I'm All Out of Love from their album the singer and the song (or was it the other way round?) anyways I got so excited I just had, had had to upload this video using youtube's video reponse thing. I'll record a better version though casue you can hardly hear me. But to anyone who's interested (or who even reads my blog) just do yr thing ;) meaning watch it

when it rains, i feel like snuggling

2009-07-14T13:41:00.003+08:00

You know when you've been having a totally crappy day/week/month but it's all ok because of one little reason? yes just one.

I was depressed over my results (which was all my fault so I don't want sympathy), gaining wiehgt, that person is still ever so clueless, been a totally absent minded and unintentionally irresponsible daughter, being inspirationless and all that crap I'm gonna stop whinging.

But just one conversation, one acquaintance, one song, with one person. Totally turned everything around. I'm not saying there's something going in my love life cause there ins't but I reckon this person really, really deserves a post for himself although he will never see it himself.

ThankS.

oh and while talking to him I learnt how to play When it rains by Paramore and hopefully we'll get to play it together when he's learnt his part. You've the most beautiful smile ever too! *I never saw it coming*

sorrow last through this night..

2009-07-13T16:50:00.003+08:00

I believe what Joyce says that blogging always makes you feel better. I felt much better compared to last night although the guilt is still there. I'll have to work extra hard next sem. I can do it! it's just another 4 months and possibly 4 exams, easy right?

My mama and my mummy and daddy and uncles and aunties all believe in me. That's a hell lot of pressure and I know I've failed them this sem already so I need to make up for it. Lord help me please. Sem 2 will be dedicated to my family and for me!

Had my first driving lesson today. Experienced drivers please stop bullying me! I'm a beginner and there's a friggin clutch on the manual car. God I hate that clutch but I'm very proud of myself. All those nights of nightmares did nothing to fend me from my lessons. The instructor was a bit annoying but who cares I'm alive and I drove to Sri Inai and back home on my first go. Seriously I learnt just by trial and error because the instructor didn't tell me what to do. And I ended up driving myself back home. Twas awesome!

It's almost end of my so called holiday in Malaysia and I still have some stuff to do such as my hair and dress shopping and more youtube videos oh and I must have written at least 2 songs before I go back but I just haven't had the inspiration...

I just love how people like Michelle Branch and Ryan Cabrera can write so many beautiful songs. I'm falling more in love with every single word they say.

One day she will tell you that she has had enough...

2009-07-13T02:39:00.004+08:00

And honestly I don't know when I'm going to give up in ___ but it seems every time when I thought I had.. turns out I haven't. "And as a wise friend told me today women demand equal rights to men, now be a man!" There's a meaning behind it, one that will remain between me and that friend of mine.

I thought I had stepped out of that dark stage already but looks like a quite haven't. My clothes maybe of assorted colours but the colours of my mind are still in dark shades... and why? no one's fault but mine, I brought everything on myself and why can't I just realise it at that time itself?

Discouraging thoughts, questioning myself, do I deserve having it this good when I haven't been giving enough? I have been accepting but for how long can I? What will happen to my future? Why didn't I do this or that/ Why DID I do this and that?

I hate admitting I need help, thinking I can do it on my own.. but in the end it just doesn't work that way after all.. I fail while others succeed because they weren't afraid. and while at that moment I would think that I was the smart one, I end up losing out.

With all of the above not giving my mind peace to sleep i threw off my blanket and came back downstairs to open up my mum's BAZAAR May 2009. (normally I wouldn't read magazines) I flipped straight to the back and found this article on Poesy Liang. 34, architectural interior designer, jewellery designer, writer, photographer, blogger, ex-TV personal, ballroom dancer, traveller, popular and beautiful. I read more about her life and I was really blown away, in a matter of minutes, I found my role model. I haven't even met her but I knew I wanted to. Like she saw that ABS by Allen Schwartz on Sarah Jessica Parker and knew she wanted it.

She's been through so much, paraplegia at 17, at age 28 (2003) with a tumour coiled around her spinal cord and paralysis striked again after the open surgery, bedridden during her first semester of Architecture Engineering in Federal Institute of Technology and finally not being able to fully complete the ambition she wanted because of her health problems. And here I was healthy and financially stable with wonderful parents supporting me and a sister and brother who believe in me, my grandmother who always gives me sums of money when she knows very well I don't need it coming from a very privileged family already. Here I am with all these! and I don't deserve it! I can't even get good enough grades to make my parents feel like whatever they had done for me was not wasted.

I am in such a dilemma for next semester now and I had a temporary moment of weakness there but if Poesy could do it over all her obstacles, why can't I? I just need that slap on the face and what I had to see again just now was not just a slap, it was a punch. And I'm back.

new video!

2009-07-02T21:03:00.003+08:00

jun yeu said i haven't been blogging and this probably doesn't count as a blog post but ok let's see last night I was talking to Alex about M2M while youtube-ing M2M videos and came across this song, Girl In Your Dreams and i fell in love with it immediately.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTBvyDHsfnk

so I thought I'de do a cover of it. love it!

red ones bring you up blue ones bring you down

2009-05-27T00:11:00.002+08:00

and i really need some red ones, whatever those "ones" are. I've been so down and up but mostly down lately.

drives me crazy half the time the other half i'm only trying to figure out what is real and true

you know times when you just feel emo/sad/unsociable? yeah that's what i'm feeling now. I see their faces, i know them i love them, I want to hug them and laugh with them.. just talk to them and not cast myself away from them...

What the hell is wrong with me!!!

Stressed out and under such a constricted time frame as well everything's due on thursday
i can do this!! I know I can!

doing before and afters as well

2009-05-21T19:45:00.014+08:00

THESE TOP 4 weren't editted at all! the bottom ones were

Michelle Branch

2009-05-17T15:06:00.002+08:00

I know right such a random post but I feel like i have to express my amazement for her somewhere other than facebook because too many people read there.

She Is just so amazing and yes she's one of my idols. The first time I performed was to her song All You Wanted. It was an awful attempt but I believe i've improved and i performed it again this year. It's gonna be a timeless classic. Her whole album Hotel Paper should be!

I'd so want to be an asian version of michelle branch, but then again she's already asian haha. But yeah one of the people I want to meet before I die would be her! She's just lovely I song writer at 14 (her song goodbye to you was written when she was around 14/15) but only appeared on her 2nd album. and now she's a mummy and back on the scene I'm waiting in anticipation for her new album~

One of the things I would want to do before I die would be to perform her entire album (or at least half of it) live! I've already gotten half the album down pat. Still deciding if i should play her song at the bar this friday or time after time? hm hmm hmmmmmmmm

god... i so need and update

2009-04-12T15:41:00.003+08:00

I'm still sick after all :( after the foam thing at Amber! ewwww guys pole dancing was hilarious I want a rose too :'( Amber is a club btw 2nd nigh of clubbing last night. went to eve before tht. eve sucks! Amber was a trillion times better! Lizzie I'm so taking you there when you come here! Lisa come this june!!

no one in trinity= boreddddd

got so much work todooooo= lazy

i'm so out of it i don't even feel like blogging properly. oh oh and i started camwhoring again yesterday cause i had nothing else to do like seriously!

oh and thank you kimy for the signs! muax!

you tuck me in just like a child now

2009-03-02T07:54:00.003+08:00

I wish I had someone to do that... But I'm 18 and in first year uni 3489 miles from home. Time to be a big girl.

this whole week has been extremly busy and amazing for me. I partied, performed, socialized, painted, dressed up, clubbed, wore 3.5 inch shoes for more than 4 hours. it was amazing! I met with a fewold friends and made new friends who I've all grown to love to dearly especially the evening when I had my first performance this year, they came to support me.

Then it was the night I went clubbing with joyce. Ethan Lach Irini Callum Shaun walked me to the tram stop and Callum walked me back I was really touched. They were soooooo nice!!!!!

I'm writing this just a couple of hours before my class that's why i'm so free. Now I'm doubting myself in Italian, I should have taken French cause I at least know people there I dont know anyone so far taking Italian.

I just came back from SAfeway with Tim cause we really had nothing else to do before class. I've been too busy to update my blog and too busy to even think or miss HIM. So that's a good thing. Melb will help me get over it.

~no it's never gonna be that simple

this blog is going into hibernation

2009-02-25T09:14:00.005+08:00

Yeah while Jun Yeu's blog may start up some time for now mine will be abandoned till further notice because being back in melb just leaves me so busy especially with Trinity's O week and all. It's been fucking awesome here so far and I'm getting tired of saying hi to every random stranger.

I'm gonna have to start doing that all over again in Uni anyways. I just wanna settle down with like a close group of friends like last year (sadly they're all going to Monash) so yeah..

But seriously Trinity Resid has been awesome! the activities the people and even the food beats AH food any day!

I'll mostly be updating my facebook now so if anyone cares hit me up there! Upoading last last night's photos I didn't bring my camera to the Supernova party cause I thought it would get messy and it did! Messier than the casino night and byt the time I got back I was covered in dirt, sand, drinks and glow stick paint, oh and those coloured zinc sticks and sweat as well.

5th day

2009-02-22T07:36:00.002+08:00

finally!! someone else in my corridor, James Chruchill (i think i spelt tht right) nice guy. I'm writing about yesterdfay today so I kinda forgotten most details.

All I know is that I'm slowly adjusting here and I quite like it honestly and the seniors are just fabulous!! Like I missed the St Kilda thing yesterday but then I joined htem for kovie night (I already started my late night snacking SHIT!)

I think it was Strictly Ballroom, I know the name is like.. uh... but I really like the movie. sadly only 3 of us first years showed up. WAi hoe and Grace ditched me to go to Big W -__- but it's ok we had a good time.

Then we went to Behan to see (and envy) the third year's rooms! AND REALLY I DO ENVY!! It's wonderful they're all so nice let me name them; Edwina, Yien (I just learnt her name is NOT spelt like the japanese currency Yen after all), Yun, Aru (who is not really a senior by tht much) Jocelyn, Michelle, Simon, David, Sophie.. hmm did I miss anyone out? hope not.

supposedly go to Yien's room to dance but ended up chatting instead. Am at leeper now spamming my blog updating all of my posts and updating my facebook as well.

2nd day at trinity

2009-02-22T07:32:00.000+08:00

Was even too busy to blog yesterday. Or write my blog on MS words. Anyways what did I do again? Oh yeah woke up unpacked, got another box and another luggage bag. Unpacked those. Then went to pay Daniel Loh a visit at his office in Clayton. (my dad rented a car). Sky photographing! I just had to since clouds were rare in melb especially patches of them in the afternoon. Came back around 6.30 just in time for the Night Market excursion. Met like several other freshers. Too lazy to go into details of them. Night Market reminded me of Joyce Amanda and Evie!! :’(

Oh yeah there’s a girl here whose name is also Amanda and she’s also from Singapore. She’s the same classes as Jun Hoe I heard. But don’t worry Ama there’s only one MAN like you!

Anyways I found out that Joyce and Evie were staying near me (for the time being) the whole time!! ASDFGHJKL!!!! But I was super and I mean super busy with settling in and N-week (which is still going on) anyways so I don’t have time to see them again though I wanna! We should have an AH gathering at CS since it’s like between all of us.

After night market we went to safeway and hoe bought a fucking lot of shit man!!! Luckily my dad was here and offered a lift back. But after that wai hoe realised he should have taken advantage of the car and bought soap. Oh well..

Went to CS around 11.30 and came back at 1.30am. I had to follow him because he has this bombastic thought that he would get ass-raped if he walked alone. WDF! On our way out of Trinity we bumped into Abby and Clinton and the others sorry can’t remember yr names of who was there. They offered us some cocktail some passionfruit thing which was nice but I was worried about the sugar content inside so I only took 2 sips and Hoe drank the rest and he was kinda tipsy and red after tht. We had a lot of laughs with our AH buddies. Sigh I miss them. Finally went home at like 1.30am.

Around 2am wai hoe called my room saying there was a huge ass insect in his room. And he was fucking scared. So me being super nice! =D went all the way to his room a building away on the TOP FLOOR! And the hilarious thing was the insect took over his room because he didn’t dare to stay in the same room with it so he went out. Then he tried to open the door for me but he spoilt his keycard. Then we went all the way back to my room, called the emergency number and requested to get the room opened. The guy that answered the phone was an asswipe hypocrite. He was all nice on the phone then he forgotten to hang up the phone and I heard him say “These kids are such a pain in the arse”. FUCK YOU! But thanks for opening the ddoor for my friend.

Then when the door was opened there was still the insect problem. Actually it was worse. There was a beetle and a huge cricket as well. I caught them both, released the cricket but left the beetle in the box and threw it in the bin. The beetle was vicious! It was making loud scraping noises in the box that you can hear 5 feet away!

Finally crashed at 4am… Craig Choong Wai Hoe you are one effing hilarious shit~!

got photos but lazy to upload now...

first day in trinity

2009-02-22T07:31:00.000+08:00

I’ve no internet connection here yet.. -.- how come wai hoe gets a cable and I don’t?

I was restlessly asleep during the flight if that makes sense to you. Like I kept tossing and turning in my seat. Plus my butt was not just itching but literally aching to get oof the seat. I hate long flights seriously. Delayed lagi because of one passenger. Grr... WTH Nicole came into business class to say hi to eric but was so inconsiderately considerate to not wake me up :P

I hope I had burned all the calories I gained eating on the plane today. The moment I landed it was luggage heaving all the way. I already had 3 hand carried items in addition to another 2 luggages and a box. My checked in registered a total of 65.7kg!! I thought I reduced!!! Apa terjadi?

Oh gosh today was just so busy idk how to make this blog flow properly. It’s 1am now Melb time and I’m writing my blog on MSWords. I’m gonna have to get that broadband thing.

Ok here’s the breakdown of the mixdown. After airport, rented car, arrived at Trinity, talked to Peter Campbell, got introed to my room. SUPER small!! Like microscopic! I think he could tell the look on my face although I honestly did try to hide it. Then I met up with Wai Hoe and Grace who were staying in other buildings around Trinity as well.

Hoe got the biggest room with more shelves but it’s fair cause he got the suck-ish bathroom and his room is like an oven during the day and just fair at night. I managed to change my room to Clarke’s where Grace is at. Honestly although it is slightly better in the sense I get a sink and it’s slightly longer but still sucky with tht musty old room smell that I combated with sprits of my Dior PURE POISON.

Oh I must express my gratitude to Wai Hoe for helping my dad and I carry my 32.7kg luggage bag up the 2 flights of stairs to my room! But I fixed his fan for him after that la. So evened out :P (T-T) didn’t get fan for me!

Oh and his room is insect infested but then again so is mine. An average moth has just intruded into my below humble abode. I don’t have the heart to kill it because it was just looking for shelter so I’ll let it sleep behind my curtain tonight and it had better have checked out later this morning. I hope it doesn’t go around promoting my room as a freeloading-moth’s paradise.

Then went to CS to meet several ex-albertians but didn’t stay long cause I had stuff to transfer from eric’s room to mine. My dad had a car so better take advantage of it right? LOL. Had to sacrifice having lunch with them though.. or having any lunch at all. I slept all the way until 5.30pm after unpacking the load. I would have slept longer if Krystle hadn’t called to visit but I’m happy she did. I missed her and Dummy! I miss everyone. Hoping the Saturday Albert House dinner plan works out.

Guest list includes Albert House peeps of course. Monashees are gonna have to come to the city though. Ivan Lorda is on his flight now I think. Sigh… only he, the other Ivan and Handy are the closest of my indon friends that are gonna be in Melb Uni. The rest sudah cabut to Monash. T-T

Had to go to AH to collect security bond and learned something new about my bank accounts. Tomorrow I’ve to bank in my first ever cheque! Lol I wanna get a part time job even if it’s secretly I still just want the thrill of earning my own money.

Anyways went for dinner/my super late lunch with daddy’s friend’s son and wife. Yay!! Now I DO sorta have guardians here. They were really nice. They belanja us dinner at Nam Loong. Remember we ate there (me, Evie, Joycey, Remy) sigh it’s not gonna be us going out for food anymore.. But Daniel works over at Clayton so I’ve an excuse go there at least. He’s so cute he kept persuading my daddy to take desert he even offered to go somewhere else for desert! All I could eat was the lemongrass chicken cause I don’t take shelled stuff or spicy tofu (sadly it was spicy). So Daniel told me to order another dish but I ordered fried ice cream instead. OMG FAT!!!

Then I took my dad to QV Safeway n Big W. I intro-ed him to my usual shopping place xD and bought a shit load of heavy shit! Detergent and softener was the cause of the weight. Then I met a red haired senior here named Rita I think and she was really nice after I showered in the trickle of a shower (it doesn’t deserve the name SHOWER) I wanted to talk to her some more but then Hoe called to go to CS so I went anyways.

Then it was OOHHH my god!! Krystle really did get me the Incanto perfume range!!! Awww~ Thanks, thanks I was like staring at it as if I cldn’t believe she was holding it in front of me and well I couldn’t believe it. I love it!! I so sayang to open it haha. Thank you En tzer and Krystle! =]

Then hoe just HAD to eat after that so went to this pizza place and then on the way back he kept saying he was fat! Why order a large box of chips and accept another slice of pizza then?! Yes! I abstained myself from consuming any of his fattening food despite his attempts of offering!

However I got back to my room and ate ¾ box of strawberry pocky. Tomorrow going to QV Night Market. Sigh just like last year when Evie, Amanda, Joyce and I just *clicked*. I wonder if I’ll get the same blessing this year? I miss you 3 loads!!

Didn’t get to take photos at KLIA as I had hoped. Too many things to carry. Oh well I’ll bring my DSLR to the night market thing. I just hope I can take pictures and catch up with the crowd because I’m such a fucking snail. I hope there will be people that I can click with too… I’ve this feeling that I’ll be alone…

Ah well sleepy. Gonna sleep I’m suppose to wake hoe up to try trinity’s breakfast today. Let’s hope they at least can get porridge right. coffs

first day in trinity

2009-02-22T07:28:00.000+08:00

4th day....

2009-02-20T07:35:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 2pm-ish and I had to force myself awake there. The I thought I’d get back on track cause I slacked last night and so settle my enrolment but that didn’t work out after all because I was lazy to get my letter from the student services since I changed my course to environments at the last minute! So now because of my stupidity in procrastinating just one dumb letter I’ve to wait till Monday now... I’m wasting tons of precious time!

Then I did some laundry and the effing washer and dryer were both giving problems! They wouldn’t start! I had to wait for around 40 minutes for maintenance to come and fix it and you know what they had to do? He just switched off the plug and switched it on again.. the ****! I could have done that too.

Well anyways been really busy too busy to blog or rather losing the mood to. If I hadn’t made blogging daily a resolution I would have just screwed it but I bet by the end of this month my blog would be dormant. And I think I need to upgrade my RAM what with my photo editing and virtual designing and web-surfing and of course blogging!

I need to get my own internet access!! This is killing me. Anyways met up with joyce handy and ivan for “dinner”. We were suppose to meet at 5 but somehow it dragged on to 7 so I had stuffed myself silly already. Food at Trinity definitely ta pau’s AH food any day! And the lunch lady Connie is just so funny!! Hoe got scolded by her almost every meal! And I quote, “You need your mother!” LMAO!

Then I met up with Aru, David, Yun and Yohana (I think tht’s how you spell it, correct me if I’m wrong) at lygon then we walked to Max Brener’s in QV (Melb Central’s was crazy full). Then came back and Abbie, Clinton, Carla, Tiana and group, I forgotten who else was there! Anyways they were outside drinking (I think they do tht every night?) and called me over. Just stayed and talked with them and I found out there was a lounge/basement/common room!! I was like… I’m such a noob…

Hoe abandoned me and went to spend the night in CS… You know what? Right now I’m missing him a lot… Liz I still like him! A lot lot I miss him loads! I feel like just writing it out here now because I know he doesn’t feel the same about me, never will, I give up hope on him liking me but I don’t know how much longer I’ll like him… But I just wish he would REALIZE what I had realized around 3 months ago… and perhaps return the feelings… Dear you, I miss you, and I can’t get over you. I wish I would be able to see you everyday, hold your hand, show you how much I care for you, how much I like you and when I really like someone I’d put them in front of everything else… lol if only you knew how privileged you’d be being with me.

3rd day in trinity

2009-02-19T07:32:00.000+08:00

Orientation today! And my dad was flying back as well. I got lost I knew where the building was but I didn’t know how to enter it so I stopped this white-haired friendly man and this young white guy told me where to go instead. Turns out he was a Melb uni fresher and taking environments and planning to major in architecture.

Conversation was easy with him because when I ran out of things to ask/say he had something else to ask/say. Turns out he’s Ecuadorian but without the accent. Cool right? And he was like my teman for like the whole day since we were doing the same course and most likely taking the same subjects as well.

I introed Matt to Izzie, Ethel, Jun Jiang, Isan, Dan, Rafael and Ivan. Those 2 kept talking about footie which I did not know shit about but at least I didn’t have to worry about striking a conversation).

Oh Amanda just called me, she’s at Clarke’s!! woo! And there’s a BBQ today at Sharwood. I just hope there isn’t red meat. Oh wait there will be this is Melbourne! But I hope there’s plenty of white meat as well. But then I keep thinking.. fatttttttttt….

I predict many sleepless nights for me since I’m taking environments what with all the assignments and sketching and virtual designing oh God have mercy on me please.

Dang I ate a lot at the BBQ and I drank a bottle off vodka cruiser lemon. There’s like tons of sugar in there T-T fatttttt speaking of fat I haven’t met up with the tall Ivan yet. Oh and then we played some card-ish game and then some story writing/drawing game which turned out to be hilarious shit.

Just came back from the balcony gathering. I hate moving to a new place and not knowing anyone or how to converse with then because they’ll talk about their own friends and stuff. Kinda left out but it wasn’t as awkward as when we first moved in. Wai Hoe just ditched me to go to CS because he’s suffocating in his room. As for me it’s 11.40 and I’m actually gonna sleep now. I’m so lack of sleep…

Oh and I still wanna go clubbing. Haih.. here I don’t feel as emo as back home so I no mood to continue writing my songs or play my guitar.

goodbye to you...

2009-02-16T14:14:00.003+08:00

the reason for my title is because I'm leaving the tanah tumpah darahku tonight and also because I'm listening to the song now.I absolutely adore Michelle Branch and Lily Allen. What happened to me and Avril? I still like Lacey Mosley but not the adoring ish kind anymore. all part of growing up?

you can even see my transition through my blog skins, i mean look at it now!! PINK! xD

I was just messing around with my gutiar last night (or 2am this morning) the result of feeling emo but what he said was absolutely true and I wanna improve. It's gonna be hard to match up to you and I can't come close I know because like you said you have experience and I don't but i''ll suck it up and see how far I can go =). Anyways I came up with a random song which I actually liked myself.. but i forgotten how it went already!!! T-T

trying to rewrite it back.. sighhh why didn't i just record it immediately! STUPID GIRL!

And I gained a kilo back!!
oh god what the-!!!! ok let's hope i can resist the food on the plane! why can't be lactose intolerant like Jon? I wanna have my vomitting fest back haha!

Anyways I'm going back to melbourne.. sighh goodbye to:

car rides
delicious CHEAP food
quality shopping
my family who i've bonded with (SERIOUSLY)
my expensive items which i can't bring over
unlimited internet
more spacious room
my pyramid of soft toys
my best best best friends!
manglish accent

"I want you but I'm not giving in this time, goodbye to you, goodbye to everything that i knew, you were the one I loved the one thing that I tried to hold on to"

P.S. do you likey my new layout? I needed to change it before i go back to melb just for fun =D

thank you..

2009-02-16T01:16:00.002+08:00

thank you so much for making me smile when I couldnt

thank you for giving me hope in something tht didn't happen

thank you for making me realize it

thank you for not allowing it to happen.

no really =) thanks so much!

~stupid girl, I should've known

flying back tomorrow

2009-02-15T21:30:00.003+08:00

and i managed to cut 3kg off my luggage! =D still cutting off more that means not done packing yet.

I am absolutely addicted to:

Lily Allen
curling my hair
clothes
water
Salvatore Feragamo's Incanto perfumes
accessories
eye make up
photography

I know i'm gonna dehydrate like a fish out of water on the plane! last time my skin ws seriously flaking and plus the weather in melb I'm scared it'll actually crack this time!

Andways I am not thinking of which bags to bring. I don't wanna end up bringing something i won't be using. I wanna reduce the weight as much as possible so i can fit in a few more things =P

weight was 59kg when i weighed =/ dang...

oh my mum went to the Quartz store and went nuts with the crystals! she got me 3 diff ones! and it was seriously pricey :S

v-day photos

2009-02-15T01:34:00.001+08:00

of all i took there are only two that i am satisfied with :) hope you like em as well

the lampost pic was inspired by Lily Allen's- "Littlest Things" love her!

I was a dreamer before you went and let me down

2009-02-14T22:26:00.003+08:00

Hello V-day! The day would usually anticipate by december. But lose hope by January and is proved right by February. I've never had a valentine, not a real one like my sister had today (they're so cute together). But anyways so I guess V-day will not be in my calendar anymore. Instead it shall be replaced with Singles Awareness Day! Ironically the people I hung out with today were NOT single =/ just me.. sigh..

But then again Valentine's is the day you spend with someone you love who GENUINELY loves you back right? so why bother wishing to have someone you love around when they don't love you back?

I was at Sunway Pyramid with my sis for 5 reasons being;

to check on my sis's "date" haha jk la you two quite cute together and he was really sweet to you i approve!
to photograph the v-day decos (which failed dramatically)
to search for my parents' v-day prezzie (i found a cup with their wedding numbers on it! =D)
to fix my fave Guess watch so i can use it in melb
to meet Yuki!!

wth... my sis and her other 16 year old friend had a valentine's... Yuki chooses to not spend valentine's with her GERMAN bf! I want British please God. hehe

Note to self get pics of us from Yuki. lol we camwhored outside the entrance and passersby were like staring at us. but it doesn't matter cause I was spending time with the one i love who loves me back.

2 more days Tiff then you'll be soaring in the sky!

oh and i got stalked today1#!#$%^&

If hot guy ok la but this guy was fat and looked above 25 and had that sor hai face tht looked like my chem tuition teacher. why la can't he be a hot British emo guy instead... sad... T-T

you're so bipolar!

2009-02-13T16:52:00.003+08:00

you want me do dress more feminine and nice, but you won't let me bring over the clothes for me to dress that way.

you want say that I'm useless, but you make use of me

you say I can't do this and that, but you force me to and say you didn't

you forced me to change myself, but still you say I haven't

you say you hate my dressing, but still you want my clothes

you tell me to go shopping for you, but then you don't let me go out

you say you don't want to see me again, but why'd you scold him for not bringing me back?

you tell me to do this for you, and say that I don't do anything for you after that

you give me cosmetics to "prettyfy" myself, but you shun me for using them

you go and leave me behind, and then you say you should have brought me along

you encourage things in me at the beginning, but curse, shun, discourage and torment my failure later

you condemn me and my friends, and say I have no friends later

you say I've no social life, when you're the one that cut me off from it in the first place

you want me to smile all the time, but how can I when you do things that make me cry

you want me to be more like a girl, but when I cry when I'm hurt you just add to the pain

so can you please tell me WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU FUCKING WANT FROM ME??!!

you passed away leaving a tear in my heart Friday 13th, 13:13

2009-02-13T15:08:00.004+08:00

My ipod passed away today.. Ok this may sound so stupid and materealistic to other readers but I really love my ipod ok and i'd never go anywhere without it and if I did I always feel grumpy as if something's just not right.

I remmeber when I first met you, Poddy. You were so white, dust-free, scratch-free sitting nestled in yr little case in the slim black box. The sales man polished you and had to use 3 screen protectors till he finally stuck it on perfectly because my daddy wouldn't take home anything but perfection for me. You were my 15th b'day present. We traveled 5 Apple Stores just to find you (after the strating of CNY so most shops were closed).

I remember at the Apple Store where I met you I also met some local celebrity and his super hot gf man! But I forgotten his name already. He used to do tht petrol advertisement where you could win cars. (the cars kept changing in the advertisement) I slipped you into a black silicon skin and only a year later I added my red fender pick (given by Alex Teh) to the key ring hole.

later in Hong Kong I got you a white leather cover instead and stuck the End Violence Against Women bandage and an AIDS ribbon on it. MY father also got you yr speaker port in Hong Kong. You would then generate all my songs to suit my mood.

I remember one time in Malacca at the beach I found a sea urchin that I was afraid to touch in case i got pricked and I used YOU to scoop it up. ha ha and you never complained (as if you could anyways).

And In melbourne you were in my bag with my bottle and my bottle cracked and water flooded my bag. You were my main concern. I fished you out of the bag but it was too late water was already inside you. I shook you vigorously forcing as much water out as i could (thanks to inertia). I quickly went home (thank god i was only going to the city and not class). Joyce lent me her hairdryer and I used that to revive you.

I was so afraid (and pissed at myself) I thought I was going to lose you but I connected you to my laptop and you were alive again!!! just yr screen was blurred because the water inside was condensing. I wonder if you had a face how would yr expression have been like.

9th February 2009:
Something was wrong.. after I took you off the speaker dock I felt yr body was really warm, warmer than it should have been. But I brought you out anyways in the car I was listening to you and i noticed yr battery was already half gone. IMPOSSIBLE!! I just charged it 10 minutes ago and I swore it was full. And you kept lagging too. So I got home and tried restarting you and I left you aside for a night.

Then, the next day it was the same scenario except this time yr battery just died within 15 mins. I felt so frustrated knowing something was wrong with you. Thursday I gave my ipod to my dad to have the battery changed. We both thought tht was the reason for yr strange behaviour. I should have given you to him on wednesday but I couldn't bear parting with you.

He came home yesterday evening saying he's gonna bring it to the store in Hartamas (where we first met and you became mine) on Friday, turns out it wasn't the battery after all but I didn't know it was much worse.

ok this is the freaky part, today, Friday the 13th, at 13:13hours my dad called me:

"Tii, your ipod turns out there's something wrong with the hard drive."
"So that means.. I can't use it anymore?"
"Yeah cannot use anymore."
"They can't fix it?"
"No.. so.. you want a new one?"
My mum started shouting in the background "No more, don't buy a new one for her."

ok triple 13s... tht's scary..

well poddy, we've had our good times and bad and u got me through a lot. I miss you a lot. I missed you the moment I handed you to my dad. I love you Poddy. R.I.P.

I insisted my dad to bring yr carcass back home. I shall give you a burial in my chest of memorables. There you'll stay with my past concert costumes, stuff toys given to me from my old friends and my precious CD collection. I'll leave all your skins inside it too, yr black silicon one, the white leather case with the bandage and AIDS ribbon, and the latest zebra case I got for you around xmas time. you've been good to me :) <3

hmm curled or straight hair?

2009-02-12T23:25:00.002+08:00

I've been thinking should i leave my hair as it is or have it curled permanently? I'm really lucky I've a mum who really encourages me on these things. Lol and I quote "If you want to spend yr money on improving yr appearance I approve." and I did try the curling thing but all i did was twist my hair in a bun but idk how to make it last! (besides tons of hairspray la cause then my hair will have that crunch sound)

ooh went shopping for formal wear today. my mum was so excited when i asked for corporate clothes that she didn't mind going to 5 stores and I in the end found it!! and I love it! ahah i wanna rewind and do valedictory again even though it was boring shit but at least now i got better clothes =/

finally my digi cam is fixed! ATM my ipod is with some stranger in KL because I've no idea wht's wrong. i think they're gonna perform and operation on my Poddy. I miss him! :'(

oh nicole i found my vodafone SIM card. did you find yr OPTUS one yet?

haha a funny convo between me and the Hoe:

*naf(S)(li)™♠♀†эмỗғrέâқz†♂♠ᆭš...oh well.. says (11:04 PM):
eh
disert correct rite?
-Tiff.T >snapashottiff.blogspot.com says (11:04 PM):
disert?
what's tht?
*naf(S)(li)™♠♀†эмỗғrέâқz†♂♠ᆭš...oh well.. says (11:04 PM):
food
desert?
i 4got da spellin wtf
not deset
desert a hawt sunny region
da good is wat
-Tiff.T >snapashottiff.blogspot.com says (11:04 PM):
dessert
LOL
*naf(S)(li)™♠♀†эмỗғrέâқz†♂♠ᆭš...oh well.. says (11:05 PM):
OWH YA
WDF
LOL
-Tiff.T >snapashottiff.blogspot.com says (11:05 PM):
desert is the hot place
*naf(S)(li)™♠♀†эмỗғrέâқz†♂♠ᆭš...oh well.. says (11:05 PM):
i thought so
shit whe
weh*

luggage update= 59kg!! what the fuck is in my bags!!! omg need to repack again.. haih i hate this

speed up yr breathing

2009-02-12T09:46:00.003+08:00

because we're all gonna be leaving soon!! got an sms gfrom Edwin today he's probably on the plane now going to melb. then monash.. :'( you dumb dumb why la didn't you study a bit harder and get into melb uni!! Now yr so far!!

I have no idea whether each of us will really meet up like we had promised each other, will our relationships just start danggling and then snap! We're gonna be in deffirent Unis, doing diff courses in diff suburbs... To all the new friends I've become to close with last year, I'll really miss you all. You've all played a part in my life and I wanna keep you guys in my life but parting is inevitable... even if we don't part now somehow or other we WILL in the end so I guess parting now makes it less painful rather than parting in the next few years to come..

oh and i'm back to my Nokia because the iphone is just too annoying. So troublesome to sms!! Nokia all the way! =D they should take me for adverts. I'm promoting them and saying they're better than the iphone.

OMG just 4 days till i go back?! I don't wanna! not yet! i just hope i didn't exceed my weight limit. oh oh here's a funny ocnversation:

Mum: Tii, I think yr overweight.
Me: Yeah yeah I know.
Mum: What did you put in yr luggage?
Me: Oh you meant my luggage! xD

haha get it?

"when both boy and girl start suddenly shaking inside"

omg 5 more days!!!!

2009-02-11T22:17:00.002+08:00

can you believe it?! I actually forgotten? I thought it was like 9 more days! ZOMFG!!! ha ha i was readnig en tzer's pm and wondering 4 mroe days till what since his b'day past already..

then.. it was like a sudden self-realisation! and the heavens opened up and light shone down upon me. the angels sang, and i did too. It's 4 mroe days to melb and i'm dreading to go back now. I'm too comfortable at home with the food and the transportation (other people driving me) in melb it'll be walk walk walk walk, tram and walk.

and i'm losing my maths touch. siggh... when i was studying it i was lazy to revise it. same with chem but now that i'm leaving these 2 subjects and Bio I'm gonna miss it like crap! it's hard to let a subject you've been studying for years go. I'll miss knowing stuff people don't know and learning things I won't know unless I study it myself. Goodbye chem and maths you have not been at yr best with me but i'll miss you. Bio I love you!!! Thanks to you i felt slightly more confident in my Trinity final exams. now it is time for us to part. ='(

omg i sound so sad and lifeless. Get me out of here!!!

igot an iphone!!

2009-02-11T12:45:00.005+08:00

ok so it's a second-hand. my mum handed it down to me because she didn't really like it after all so we swapped, my Nokia Navigator for the iphone.

my new iphone with leather case, Cedric and the butterfly necklace I repaired =)

not very impressive really the name just makes it sound grand. To me as long as I can set alarms, reminders, sms and make calls on my phone that's good enough for me

oh and here's the photos of my new babies. 2 additions to the family. My daddy unexpectedly bought another 2. I think he's in love with them as well. these are so tiny they're the size of yr standard Faber Castell erasers! And they're freaking restless it was hard for an amateur so-called photographer like me to snap the pictures.

Baby 2#

(haven't named yet)

Baby 1#

(not named yet either)

can you tell them apart?? cause i can! =D they're the cutest things ever!! but soon they'll grow to Lemony's (my first baby 2 years ago) size. that's like.. around the size of our HOI textbook! =O still i love all of them to bits!! My babies i'll have to leave you within a week. *sobs* we didn't get to bond..

gahh!!! my ipod is effed!!

2009-02-10T19:44:00.002+08:00

It's like it freezers then when i attached it to the dock it charges like normal. then when i remove it even when the battery is full already within 10 minutes the battery gets red then dies in the next 30 secs!! what the hell is wrong with it?!

oh and i've 2 new baby terappins!! they're so so tiny!!!! aawwwwwww

dreading to go back melb now

2009-02-10T14:51:00.003+08:00

The Reason:

I get nervous just thinking about it. I'm not so good with meeting new people especially if it's a FORCED event or one that I did not plan myself to go to. I always think, "Is tht person sizing me up?" "What's is she/he gonne think of me?" "What if they don't like me?" "What if no one bothers talking to me?" or "What if I run out of things to say with the person I'm tlaking to and they just walk away?" "My dressing doesn't blend in, it's too much/low!"

I'm so pessimistic it's unhealthy for me i know cause i'll get all worried and stressed about it. Meeting new people who might not want to meet me?... Can I just stay in my room and unpack continuously for 4 days instead? sigh..

luggage update

2009-02-09T15:28:00.002+08:00

everyone's (those who are leaving the country anyways) are so hyped (and worried) about packing. Krystle hasn't even started. Kristina is taking her own sweet time..

Me.. I box full of i-forgotten-what is taped up already. and i filled one bag with architectural magazines and winter clothes and hangars and files n books i may need there. Altogether that's.. hmm 13kg +27kg = 40kg!! shit man!!! and i'm not done with my casual clothes yet!! wtv did i pack in there?! how do people stick to the 25kg thing?

Good thing I'm taking business class this timeand my dad's following me so i get around 50kg to myself.. i wonder if my clothes and my other things will fit in that weight range.

I was just reading Izzie's and Nicole's blog and I noticed all the complex vocab they use and I realised how cetek my vocab is.. I feel so inferior... I haven't been my bookworm self in a whole year already. I used to be able to finish a 1000+ paged novel in 3 days but now i haven't finished my Frankenstein and Dracula. I haven't started on my Anne Rice T-T what the hell have i been doing?!!

"One thing is for sure - the Tarot works!" Sylvia Abraham

And indeed they do I've been learning them for around 2 months already and so far every question i asked it was soo soo true.. I cannot put into text how accurate the tarots are. How does it work? is it God talking to us? My mum was freaked that I started on this 'hobby' of mine but I didn't tell her the questions I asked. I've read for my sister several times too. They were all true, her PMR results, her experience in her new school (she asked a week before school started) and now even the guy that she has been crushing on. The tarot showed positive results and well yeah it was defo positive. Now if only mine would hurry up and come true because it showed positivity too. however it says my future will be negative..

tarots are scary but cool!!! who wants me to read for them?

my mum played with my DSLR today LOL

2009-02-08T23:24:00.002+08:00

other than that nothing much to report for today :D

again i'm so sorry izzie i wasn't thinking!! T-T pls pls don't be mad with me!

it's you...

2009-02-07T23:32:00.000+08:00

how close I was to spelling yr name... all i have to do is... it's hard to be patient you know, to keep it inside lying to yrself yr not sure when you really are. I feel like I should tell you even though I can predict the look on your face, the stabbing painful silence that'll follow it and then the rejection after that. No matter how polite you may put it, it'll still hurt.

If you knew the little things you did that can light up my face again within seconds. I just wanna turn you around to face me so I can tell you, through the tears building up in my eyes now that I love you. Yes I really do I'm so sure of it now. I thought I was over you when you gave me nothing but silence, but the moment you showed me a hint of thought I saw a glimmer of hope and it's like all my feelings flooded back again and took over my sanity.

So if I do confess to you, how should I do it? in person? then i'll have to wait till I see you and that is if I even get the courage to confess straight to yr face and accept the rejection like that. my friends said tell it through msn. But I know that there'll be a long silence and in the mean while i'll be hanging a rope to the ceiling fan already (LOL!) ok la not that serious but still anxiety... but then again isn't that how i feel now?

And I think you know too was that the reason for the silent treatment? if that's the case I should remain silent too..

oh no-s!!!!!!

2009-02-07T22:03:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry Lizzie I'm really really so so effing sorry!! I didn't know you DID wish me earlier after all in fact you blogged about me too!! *cringes*

"okay bby, so she says she was expecting a wish from me but didn't get one. Pshh girlfriend, would I NOT post you a wish on the world wide web?? loser, you should know better.

So my dear Tiffany, I've known you basically for 7 years of my fucking life. (Woah, that's long. Not that long but I know it'll progress to 2 digits in time) You have been that kid who loved Jesse McCartney and progressed into Bring Me The Horizon. Wtf. haha. Anyway, you've always been there for me eventhought you've been in a different school and in a total different country. I go to you for advice and talk to you about so many things. We think alike and like the same stuff, we're practically sisters yo! :] Anyway, meeting you has always been a pleasure to me babe and I hope we do get to hang out more and more in the years to come! maybe when we're in Aussie we'll go! Go to shows, take photos together, backpack the country and stalk guys together! :D Yay! Imagin how fun will that be! Haha. I hope you do get what you want this year, because after all, you're legal already! May all your dreams and wishes come true babe. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I LOVE YOU!!"

WAHHH so sweet!! I'm so sorry dear and yes yes it will be 2 digits i'll so so make sure of that! when it becomes a decade we shd like have an anniversary or something.. not sure what exact date la ha ha. and here's to yr dreams and wishes too! yr handsome my dot! xD

excited about packing

2009-02-07T14:23:00.002+08:00

there's only.. erm.. *counts fingers* 1..2..3.. oooh 9 more days till i'm in unpredictable Melbourne again. Still got stuff to buy esp moisturizer and loads of it. I have eczema -___- so tht means i need to buy special creams now. :(

and i was weighing what i have packed so far.. there's still more to come and it was already reaching 40kg!! omg what the hell did i pack?! it's tough being a girl so many clothes, bags, shoes, accessories, beauty products to pack! I still have more clothes to pack and that will take another.. probs 15kg...

and for hand carried luggage tehre's my camera bag, my laptop, my guitar, hangbag and a tennis raquet, oh and a tripod... help?!

my other luggage wasn't big enough so now i've to transfer all my things into a bigger one. damn ma fan la.. no mood for photography either

aww thanks for coming into my life and making it sweeter :)

2009-02-05T23:12:00.008+08:00

Yesterday i was officially 18 but dang it wasn't exactly how i planned my b'day to be like. Woke up and straight went for medical test. I know, I had to pee in a cup for my b'day! xD that was probably the highlight of my day.. oh that and this guy (guessing he's applying for a visa too) kept following me :S why'd my daddy leave me alone!

Well anyways, thanks so so muchly to all my friends who wished me, some more than once and I wanted to write who wished me how and how many times but i'm malas so... really sorry!
Here's the roll:

Ivan Y (my 1st brother)Prem (you got the right day the 2nd time! xD)

Edwin Kurniawan (yes i got the sms too)

Yisan

Choong Wai Hoe

En Tzer (Dummy)

Chris (kor)

Eric

Joycey (SUPER SWEET BLOG POST BABE!!)

Amanda (ha ha i saved the voice clip)
Xian (lol smurfs)

Randy (Sabah BOY cute :P)

Jolene

Wandi

Nicole (thanks for calling me =])

Jun Yeu

Jon!

Krystle (yay u got better on my bday)

Shiok Leng (u rmbr!)

Chris (dunno his last name xD, HH drummer)

Kok Sian

Suryo (penguin no.2)

Handy (penguin no.1)

Livia

Steph Hew

Patricia Danu

Cheryl Lee

Ng Bee Bee

Yuki (yrs coming soon beb)

Grandpa Ivan (i don't want Wandi in a Theodore costume!)

Yari (ex-chem partner)

Grecia

Izzie

Jun Kit

Lizzie (hearts, wouldn't be a bday if you didn't wish me)

Jun Lin

Michelle Cheng

Benz (HSM weirdo)

A.Teo (duck duck goose)

Kelvin Tan (take me to UK too!)

Quah Ying Ying

Jun Pei

Kimy (na saranghae! &heart;, yes i'm yr sifu yay)

Mummy

Daddy

Remy

Adel (furnace, funny)

Billy Low (u owe me bubble tea!)
Shakira (sunshine song)

Lai Sze Yi

Nisrin Nadzmi

Taty Azman
Nick Benjamin

Tai Yang

Joanna Yau

Jeng Yuen

Sadikin Alfian

Alana

Gabriella Diana Gusta

Kristina Low

Steph Ng

Weilin Tsai

Yiwen

Meena Chow

Debbie Soo

Yong Jia Yang

Yong Jo Leen

Evelyn Ng

Sue (u rmbred!! and yr still older!!)

Nirwan

Fadzliana

Nick Black (fave indie singer)

Corlish (4 mins late ha ha)

Fidz(who are you! LOL)

Zyen Hoo

Dumisile (LOL)

Michelle Ong (mee/moo-chee)

Ethel Chan (crashtestbuddy)

Mattie (nice to hear from you again)

Lynnette Chua

Rhys

HOPE I DIDN'T MISS OUT ANYONE

~maybe i'm still in love with you after all, but should i tell you?

harnessing my skills

2009-02-04T20:31:00.004+08:00

not tht nice i know i shd have focused on the boy n girl instead.. grr

curtain tie, i think it's what they're called

I AM SO HAPPPYYYYYYYYY for not just that i finally know how to use my DSLR (not fully but better) without reading the manual (sorry la me lazy...) And today i met Taty, Randy, Renee and the rest of the gang at OU today. I was walking alone at that time. Then when I saw them again my mum was with me and she was like "Ignore them don't say hi to them." So I had to force myself to walk right past them as if I didn't see them.. I don't get her!

oh and also I dropped a size!!!! WAH SO HAPPY!!!!

Wai How was saying how my pictures are "kinda CMI". I dunno if he's talking about my interior deco pics or my camwhore pics. if my camwhore ones i don't mind cause i took it for myself but if he meant my photography ones i did kinda feel hurt. But then I slapped myself and told myself I didn't even actually took the pics seriously all i did was play with the camera so it's not surprise it's not nice right? right!! phew glad i cleared tht up with myself lol

late CNY at Jun Yeu's

2009-02-04T02:38:00.003+08:00

Hmm I wonder how many posts i can make in a day eh wait it's past midnight so it's counted as a new day.. after creating my flickr and posting the amateur images i went to Jun Yeu's CNY dinner. lol and it was PIZZA for dinner. How CNY is tht?

Ethel was suppose to come but she stood me up in the end *sobs* ha ha joking I understand the jam and all =] crashtestbuddyyyyyyyyyyyy....

Brought my DSLR to his place and took the randomest shots at his place. And I was like such a noob with it. I was fiddling a lot of the aperture and ISO and all tht cause i wanted to take the city at night...

He's effing lucky! he has such a spectacular view (both in KL and Melb) and he doesn't appreciate it! -__- if tht were my pad i'd stare at it everynight... oh did i mention it was suppose to be at 6 and I only arrived like after 7.30? I wonder if he or David noticed my hair is black agian lol.

I admit I felt like bailing out on going too at first cause I'm always pessimistic about meeting new people but they were really nice esp Lilian who stuck with me almost the entire time I was there. sleepy and the pictures are taking like FOREVER to upload on both flickr and here. so i'll just upload esok.. uhhh.. i mean later in the late morning.

I finally found a watermark program! HALLELUJAH!! (however you spell that) k m hungry now so gonna sleep. zzz will edit this post in the morn

it's 7.25AM and i'm uploading photos now!! :P oh i found a free watermarking software!! yay! cause I don't want the whole photo editting software like Paintshop and Photoshop cause I don't edit my pics i just want to leave a print of my name on it. if anyone's interested google Alamoon Watermark.

oh and thanks anyways lil Tiff for helping me lol (see see i did still mention you in my post!) and Ethel who kept me company on msn while i searched for that shitting free water marker thing!

Lilian who i actually just met there! xD

Jun you look so stiff ..

his bro, "David"

say hi to Jun Yeu! lol he looks so sad..

screw it i'm using flickr

2009-02-03T18:43:00.002+08:00

deviantart is too troublesome!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/snapashottiff/

i made a deviantart account!

2009-02-03T17:59:00.003+08:00

so i'll post all photos there instead of my blog. my blog i'll just select the nice ones (if any), url is similiar to my blogger. http://snapashottiff.deviantart.com/

i need better lenses

2009-02-03T11:29:00.004+08:00

yh not very impressive right? cause my lense isn't exactly enough to blur out the back ground or make the point i want to focus on super sharp =/

omg i stayed until 3am drawing to art block size sketches!! damn lifeless right? I've been having this problem I'd be ever so tired but I won't be able to sleep. gah..

and Nicole hasn't called me! oh okay she jsut called me, so happy for her hearts all over the world for me too please?

took my DSLR to OU

2009-02-02T22:56:00.006+08:00

camwhore moment in the dressing room

idk how to blur out backgrounds yet, i really shd read the manual

lol i took tht by accident but i thought it looked nice

can't resist a camwhore moment

OOOOHHHH Yuki might be coming over and we are going photographing together!! i just love her pics!! so nice!!

and she can teach me too lol i'm noob

ok now i gotta go to my sketch of a cottage! lol if i were rich i'd build a cottage in Germany and see Lisa...

TOOK THESE JUST 15 MINS AGO...

Incanto perfumes are lovely... i want the range! b'day prezzie pls someone!

I blurred out Santa from the angel too much xD

i've always been fond of this dolphin pencil holder

i need to learn how to do watermarks Paint is too troublesome ok night!

omg i can camwhore with my DSLR!!

2009-02-02T13:34:00.003+08:00

this is a part of my Audio Visuals room

one of my fave parts of the house, the windows at the stairs, you can watche the moon at night, really clear view

i made this during my lock up after SPM

see my eyebags!! lol i look awful without makeup

lol i got camwhoring skills and i give credit to Liz rmbr my myspace? yr always my hero darling =3

i woke up this morning without my mum yelling saying i'm over sleeping again. Why am I doing such a thing? cause I was so restless I cldn't wait to start using my Canon EOS 50D!! I was half asleep and dreaming i was reading the manual and testing it out ha ha. Until I couldn't take it anymore I made my self get on my feet and went down and started toying with it

AND THEN...

the shocker.. I couldn't use the shutter button!! like i pressed half but it didn't focus, i pressed full it didn't snap a pic! I was like fag fag fag! I called up the store asking them what was wrong i was all pissed and panicking but i controlled myself on the phone. then i pressed some buttons (dunno what the hell i did) and then it worked agian! LOL phew! scared me man. I'm in love with my DSLR and I still dunno what to name it.

in the words of Andy Albert...

2009-02-02T01:32:00.004+08:00

"You, said enough, it's never enough to sell yourself for less than love"

and he is so right, and my love goes to my cameras and my guitar and my books! a combination of arts and sciences. (oh and my laptop of course! my connection to the world when all hope of socializing is lost) Speaking of which I'll be gone from the science stream starting this March.. sobs.. i'll actually miss it although chemistry didn't really treat me well I'll miss you Biology! I just hope I'm making the right choice. I'm back in Environments Izziekins and i'm not leaving you anymore lol sounds gay.

Anyways.. I must rant about my Canon EOS 50D. I admit at first when i toyed with i was like.. shit i shouldn't have taken the intermediate one first but I must say I love it, i just need to learn howto use it like a pro first ha ha.

lol now that i got a camera (and am currently familiarizing myself with it) you'd better SMILE when you see me =D

cheers!

ASDFJHGK!! what's wrong with the picture!!!

happy/busy/interesting dayyyyyyyyy

2009-02-01T23:18:00.006+08:00

lol tht is the shittest title anyone on this god forsaken planet could come up with.. but it's kinda true..

hello Malacca

wish i had my DSLR then

Oh Chris was flying back to melbourne today and i went to the airport to just see him. He's going off to Perth on the 9th of Feb (STUPIAK!) so i won't see him until maybe later in the year. I'll miss you so so much kor! oh he wore a gay purple shirt which from far i thought was a gay pink shirt LOL! See kor, I love you so so much I went all the way to KLIA to see you, would you ever do tht for me? hmm hmm? haha. have a great trip, landing, trip again and landing again.

lol Chris looks like "ooh cooked algae!"

i wanted to steal they're reusable pretty fork and spoons but Chris wldn't let me :(

his curry was too spicy

my new flaming guitar strap and guitar pick

and my DSLR!!! weee Canon EOS 50D

taken with my trusty Casio

architecture book i bought and testing my DSLR not a nice pic working on it

And then something happened... tyre got punctured near the Taman Bahagia LRT station, so my dad and i got out to fix it. It was messy, dirty, scary(dark LRT station, think of those news) and fun!

the tyre was punctured :O

spare tyre phew!

this was where the spare tyre was from

the mess we made

LOL

This proves that I'm good as any guy at changing tyres man. I helped with the jack too in raising the car..

~make me fall for you..

just a reminder to myself

2009-02-01T10:25:00.003+08:00

on who's on the same flight as me and when my other friends are gonna fly back (those that i remember the dates anyways):

Today- Chris :'( noooo not Perth!!
15th- Krystle, Dummy, Geoff
16th- me, wai2, eric, derk hua, derk wen, lishen
17th- jun lin, kendrick, mel

Currently in my head?

Slam Crunk by Holiday Parade

my fave mashup ever!!

~where the money at, i'm gonna superman that ho

tagged by my crash test buddy

2009-01-31T22:07:00.002+08:00

1. Do you think you're hot?

LOl.. fer sure..

2. Upload a favourite picture of you.

eh? I've got so many i can't decide hmm hmm hmm

THERE!

3. Why do you like this picture?

it's me without makeup and with glasses how natural is that?! lol plus i like the caption i came up with

4. When was the last time you ate pizza?

don't remember.. 2 weeks ago?

5. The last song you listened to.

Crimson Red by Holiday Parade and it's still playing. been 3 hours already i just love them!!!

6. What are you doing right now besides this?

packing my new pencilbox (which still isn't big enough! -.-)

7. What name do you prefer besides yours?

hmm.. Laura?

8. 5 people to tag.

1) Liz

2) Izzie

3) Alana

4) Nicole

5) lil Tiff

9. Who is no.1?

My bestest friendwho likes to cam-whore and writes interesting blogposts and takes the sickest pictures

10. No.3 is having relationship with?

ME!!! d'oh

11. Say something about no.5.

we've the same name and same interests and same skills and we both wanna dominate the world!

12. How about no. 4?

known her since Std.5 and been thru college and now uni together

13. Who is no.2?

lol a BIG COW according to Eric :P and we've the same name

AHAHAHA!!!! I love you myspace!!

2009-01-31T12:03:00.003+08:00

Which i have abandoned for sometime and just when i went online... BOOM!!! I've found Andy Horst's blog link!! *jumps* *jumps*

Andy Horst (if you don't know) is like my all time fave drummer from one of my fave bands ever This Providence. I dunno who I've ranted this to before lol was it you Liz? anyways yay yay yay!! and he claims he smiles but his profile pic doesn't show a smile *sob*

but I have seen him smile and heard him laugh and i was just entranced!!! I'm just in love with the sexy losers lol..

CONGRATZ IZZIE!!

2009-01-31T10:24:00.001+08:00

Yay! you passed yr driving test!! but then we're going to Melb in around 2 weeks give and take. Driving apa? haha unless yr getting a car in melb then i can provide you a parking spot on condition you drive me around haha.

I WANNA GO CLUBBING!! and... I WANT LADY GAGA'S ALBUM! go youtube and search for the piano version of Poker face. DAMN DAMN CUTE!

things are turning up for me

2009-01-30T21:40:00.003+08:00

My parents finally came to a decision, I'm gonna take environments, be an architect, work a year or two, open up a business and enter interior architecture and interior designing as well (kinda the same la) but it's gonna be a damn lot of stress. However, it's what i want so yeahhhh :)

oh and my dad suddenly texted me saying i got offered a Trnity International Scholarship of $4000!! tht's like omg! i can get my DSLR!! haha! and they are like so flattering in their offer, here's what it said:
Please accept my warmest congratulations on achieving your University place and on the offer of a residential place at Trinity in 2009. Trinity College is a community whose primary mission is to help students achieve their full potential at University through the direct support of academic studies, alongside opportunities to explore cultural, sporting, spiritual, and community service activities. The College is a community of scholars who value and promote academic leadership, tolerance, integrity, and all-round excellence in character and conduct. I know that your time here will be richly rewarding and highly enjoyable, and will bring you long-lasting personal and professional rewards. I take pleasure in offering you a Trinity International Scholarship to the value of $4000.

LOL! DSLR for meeeeee...

ok if yr one of those rich people who think "Whatever it's just 4000 bucks, and she's making a big deal out of it." PISS OFF. it's my happiness tht matters here. and also I made my mum happy so i benefit double.

oh oh and my gorgeous, gorgeous Nay finally borke off from her ****ed up bf (ex) Graham. God that guy fucking reminds me of.. well she and I know who we're referring to. CONGRATZ ON BEING SINGLE AND FREE AGAIN NAY MY DEAREST. I LOVE YOU LOADS!! GET YR SEXY ASS TO MELB INSTEAD OF ADELAIDE NEXT TIME! HAHA! MUAX!

she's so pretty i like her smile

lol I was taking the picture so i had to hold the paper heart

I LOVE NAY!

my webcam damn sucky she's so bright! lol

back to black basics

2009-01-29T16:57:00.002+08:00

Yeah due to pressure :P I've changed my hair back to black. it's kinda dried up frizzy now but I can fix that later, sigh whatever to make my mum happy and get me back to melbourne lol. just did it an hour ago so no pics yet.

And I was just reminded of v-day and since i'm at home i'd better plan something for my family.. just can't think of much.. =/ since i'm like so restricted and all. except financially at the moment thanks to CNY.

ok i was thinking of buying a rose bush :P cause flowers won't live forever, tht's for my mum but my dad? and then everyone i'll probably make heart-shaped nuggets and cookies i guess but i need to buy the stuff secretly so tht's my biggest problem i guess.. anyone any ideas? or anyone who loves me enough to help me out somehow?

oh and v-day is on a weekend so tht means everyone will be home.. and most likely wake up later.. but tht's not helping! bgah

it's like another start again

2009-01-29T13:06:00.005+08:00

so yeah it's a whole new year according to the Chinese calendar and i just changed my blog skin. Joyce would be so proud LOL. yes pink! but i just changed it to match the picture i put up on the title. That was the pic i mentioned in my earlier post where I took a picture of firecracks and snapped a heart shape in one of them. =D so proud of myself. and i shall stick to my resolution that is to keep this blog updated this year and i'll change the title picture whenever i take a picture that is presentable enough to the public. well cause of the sucky connection my CNY blogging is kinda screwed up like i forgotten what happened and when exactly but it's not like anyone else cares anyways right? oh btw you guys know what arrowroot is right? if you don't look it up.

anyways here's a funny convo that happened at my Aunt's place :

Mum: *eating arrowroot chips which taste really good btw* This is not potato right? what's this thing called again?

Uncle: Aerosmith *stares*

Me: It's called arrowroot

Uncle: Oh yeah, Aerosmith is the rock band right?!

He reminds me of me lol and yes to everyone i did try the sauna. lol it was really nice and there was an internal sound system in there so yh ;) uhhh ok i forgotten the sequence of what happened already.. Ivan's fave cousin came over to our hotel and played video games hogging the TV which had terrible reception anyways. oh and the younger ones came the day before that to play at the beach. Seriously having a younger brother makes me feel like a mother already!

anyways I shall now paste random photos and caption them!! for more details on this CNY

random mango my sis and i found

Kim claimed she could feel the mango's pain

shoe came off and she insisted on a pic

fireworks night

does this look familiar to you? :P i hope it's a sign

Ivan and Keisha

i love this picture loadssss

haha the fire my uncle started

(as mentioned in the previous, previous post)

my aunt and the newest addition to the family, Trisha. this one's my fave!

camwhore pics and CNY update

2009-01-28T10:51:00.005+08:00

annual family photo lol considering on getting a pro portrait one. Kim sit properly!

yes i wear 3.5 inches now tht makes me almost 5'7! surprisingly i can sprint in them too

I feel like a gothic princess in here

ok la i just love taking emo pics but tht doesn't make me one

BTW MY DRESS IS INDIGO NOT BLACK! Lol i know i said i'll wear colours but one step at a time ok? at least my shoes are white.. oh wait white is a shade not a colour. my photography pics are with Kim becuase my camera battery died. ooh ooh there's one tht i took for the fireworks and it formed a heart shape!! I know i shldn't get all boastful about it before showing the pictures

NEw Years day (yesterday)

2009-01-27T10:55:00.002+08:00

this is an update cause yesterday i didn't have time to go online. My uncle fixed a sauna in my grandparents house!! :O and my mum got totally addicted to it that she'd rahter use it than visit her sister.

Nothing out of the usual. Just visit relatives, collect ang pow but my mum being the type that hates receiving doesn't actually allow us to go around collecting them from relative. It's like they have to come to us to give it. =/ first day and i got RM900. only becuase my grandma gave me RM400 and my uncle gave me RM200 :P

oh and I just loved the dress i used! ha ha I know i am such a camwhore and proud of it :P damn... cannot upload pictures.. damn sucky wei.. ah well will upload when i'm back home too some photos

my uncle nearly set the space near my grandma's house on fire. damn funny la. See kids this is why firecrackers are dangerous.

in malacca now on new year's Eve

2009-01-25T17:19:00.005+08:00

Ok it was like 2am on a Sunday Morning and I just found out we're going to Malacca in the afternoon. Ok I know I'm blur but really THAT blur??!! I quote Joyce "you suck like shit". LOL. I thought I wouldn't be blogging for days.. O___o tht would just make me lazy to update.

But then my dad fixed up the wireless here so yay! I thought I'd have to pen everything down. Family Reunions are such a joy "rolls eyes" I hope my ipod battery will last me. I stupidly forgotten to bring my charger :(

"they say it's not about looks or status but I can't help weighing them out when I think of that guy. no it's not who most of you might think. it's a different person that only Jon and Liz know about (P.S. yes dear you look very happy shows how genuine yr expression is). Will I be making the same mistake again? Am I just being too picky? What if I miss out? I feel like I've forgotten how to fall in love again or what love feels like. or is it i'm really not interested? then why do I think of him? I'm one damn confused blue chicken!"

Oh my dad got me this really cool pen. It's also a 4gb pendrive and a video camera! I can become a spy now lol. I've a cousin's b'day later. She's turning 9! how precious is that? I took 1 friggin hour to wrap her present but it still looks like crap. I'm sorry Tasha. hope the plushie will make up for the sucky presentation lol. And I wrapped my other cuzzie's (christine) b'day prezzie in advance. Her sense of music is totally opposite of mine so I hope she'll like the present because I don't! haha.. will update more later

omg if any of my friends from melb or even in m'sia see how i'm dressed now they'll go OMG Tiffany? My 3.5 inch wedges make me taller than daddy. oh that and i'm dressed all corporate cause my closed minded relatives will shun me if i wear what i normally do at this age. I've to put my punk style aside for a few days. *breathes in* I can do this!

got a new phone!

2009-01-24T00:22:00.000+08:00

It's a Nokia Navigator.. i think tht's the model lol i lazy to check. lol front

back

Cedric and a pic of me mich sue liz and nic at Dreamworld Sunway Pyramid

actually got more stuff to blog about but i think i'll keep tht secret first until I feel like telling lol

pictures for my 2nd last blog

2009-01-23T10:00:00.002+08:00

Nicole this shd've been taken vertically and only with the column of toys, Lizzie so cutE!

Me and one of my besties Sue, she's like a natural poser

only 2 of them, cause Nicole hasn't uploaded the others yet. lol I'm not saying it like i'm blaming you ok :)

oh oh and Shakira forgotten the good ship lollipop song!! *sobs* sunshine how could you!

"On the good ship Lollipop,

It's a sweet trip,

To a candy shop,

Where bonbons play,

On the sunny beach of Peppermint Bay.

Lemonade stands everywhere,

Cracker Jack bands fill the air,

And there you are,

Happy landings on a chocolate bar,

Eating sugar bowl,

With a Tootsie Roll,

And a big, fat jelly fruitcake.

If you eat too much...

Oh! Oh!You'll awake,

With a tummy-ache!

On the good ship Lollipop,

It's a sweet trip,

Into bed you'll pop,

And dream away,

On the good ship Lollipop!"

damn I feel diabetic already :P

wooo things are turning up for me!

2009-01-22T20:06:00.002+08:00

yay got a call today saying my accomodation is confirmed. I'm going to Trinity College!! *dances* as in the residentials ha ha. and and and... ok no wait i'll keep the other news to myself until I'm in Melbourne again and if i see him. *blushes*

had like the most random conversation with someone today.. like really weird and random from flies to superman and sidekicks and aliens and tickling! wee! I actually had fun talking on msn? how lifeless is tht? hmm hmm nothing much to blog about today but all I can say is at this moment I'm feeling HAPPY!!!!! but yet i don't know what to say? weird...

zzzz... boredddddd..... and my mum's been praising me non stop i feel so on top of the world today yet with nothing to say hey tht rhymes! i rock!

weee finally people!!

2009-01-21T21:32:00.003+08:00

ha ha sounds like I've never met any otehr human being in weeks.. oh yeah i haven't LOL! well anyways thanks to Nicole coming over to pick me up and loaning me money (she wanted to belanja me but I won't allow it i'm gonna pay her back in Melb instead) I managed to hang out at Sunway Pyramid with my old friends again some I haven't seen in years but I was so happy we could still chat like normal again!

I don't have any pics. wwaiting for nicole to send them. Today was just awesome and I think Michelle and Zarul are just the cutest couple ever! And Teo was 2 hours late!! and he kept pointing out that Michelle was later. He keeps forgetting he was the one that planned it. I missed you Teo and yr endless crap talk. WDF cows and Ashworf and Cinnabon!

oh yh and we took pics at Dreamworld and Michelle was commenting how noob i was at picture decorating. Well sorry that it was only my 2nd time at Dreamworld and the first time was years ago.. eh no wait it's my 3rd time lol but anyways yh... I stuck them on my laptop. lol.

ok got more stuff to talk about actually but they're kinda private so yh i'll keep the rest to myself all i can say is.. I ATE DAMN LOT OF ICECREAM/ SUGARY STUFFSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!! noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CRAIG CHOONG WAI HOE!!

2009-01-20T22:30:00.006+08:00

This is yr b'day present!! xD

I'm writing this 1 hour in advance lol. just in case something happens at midnight and i can't post it or whatever. I know you'll love it xD

BIG NOISE, he was suppose to be a mafia so he wanted the eyeliner thing.. or was it me tht forced him... eh can't remember

collected his dps. he took this when he was apparently stressed lol usually he hates taking pictures.

ok i don't rememebr when was this but he looks pretty with Ama's headband ha ha she has more pictures of his hairstyles go ask her.

Wai wai, 18 already, yr a man!! *coff* lol new year, new flaming bag ha ha see you in Melb *hope I get in Trinity residentials too* I didn't have any more funny pics of you and I couldn't get Amanda online to give me so sorry la 3 only ha ha. eh i got recordings of you singing savage garden ha ha and rapping!

last night's blog granted

2009-01-20T16:52:00.004+08:00

Last night I blogged about how I was suddenly into high heels right.. well... I told my mum and she was so happy she took me shoe shopping today before picking up my brother and sister from school. and yes she was excited. Took me to 3 shoe stores and i bought a pair at each shop. If I had found more that I liked she would have bought them too. She brought like shoe after shoe saying "Tii this is nice/ not bad/ can be worn for etc..." I think she's happy her daughter is finally becoming a "classy girl" as she calls it. I just think it's this whole turning 18 that's maturing me ha ha. But tht doesn't mean I'm gonna turn my back on my Converse shoes. I've a pair on my wishlist haha but fat chance I'm ever gonna get that. But anyways here's the shoes:

the flats that I wanted

the wedges I wanted

the black stilettos that I wanted!!!

P.S. they're all 3.5 inches high. ha ha i'm like 5 feet 7/8 when i wear them! rawr! so that's what it feels like.

Yes I just had to blog about it immediately! Oh and I saw Sherman and Rosalind shopping together just now. Eh are they an item? someone tell me! LOL

stabbed by Liz (ok so i've something to blog about now)

2009-01-19T20:44:00.004+08:00

Bold the statements that are true to you. Italise the statements that you wish are true. Leave the Fibs alone. Then, stab 5 people to do the same test.

I miss somebody right now.
I don't watch TV these days.
I own lots of books.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes.
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm totally smart.
I've broken someone's bones.
I'm paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D
I like the way I look.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I have a hidden talent.
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I have a lot of friends.
I am currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
I enjoy window shopping.
I would rather shop then eat.
I don't hate anyone.
I dislike them.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.
I have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I'm not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I own the "South Park" movie.
I would die for my best friends.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and i like it.
I have dated a close friends's ex.
I am happy at this moment!!
I'm obsessed with guys
I study for tests most of the time.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I can work on a car.
I love my job.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever i can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went college out of state.
I like sausage.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colours.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I don't know why the hell i just did this stupid thing. (cuz my BFF liz tagged me duh!
I usually like covers better than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can't whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that i study with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
I'm an artist.
I only clean my room when necessray.
I like a person of the same sex.
I love being happy.
I am an adrenaline junkie.

the victims:
1. lil tiff
2. lishen
3. junyeu
4. Izzie
5. caitlin

nothing else to post so...

2009-01-19T20:24:00.004+08:00

well besides my very very long decision making on whether I should take Science or Environments...

I've been thinking of shoes and by shoes i actually mean high heels and stilettoes and wedges. IDK if it's the turning 18 or my mum's constant nagging that's suddenly making me interested in them but i really really want a pair of beige wedges, silver heels and the traditional black stilettos.. =/ LOL I'm becoming a woman!! xD

I esp want these clark ones but damn ex!! they cost as much as my fave black dress! :(

lol wai hoe trying to get me to webcam now. ahhh bad hair la!!

continuation...

2009-01-18T22:36:00.004+08:00

Went to the cutest cafe ever for dinner. It was one fo those places where they served food and sold clothes. It was called Fullhouse (suits the name totally) the deco was so wow! Can't rememeber where it was though but really I wanted to steal the deco esp the table's centrepieces. Starry holed lamps!!

I so want this pleaseeeeeeeee....

IDKY but i want this for my room :P

now a room like this kind of girly I wouldn't mind *points to left* Four poster bed!!

can see the bird? cute right? there were a few of these around

yh as usual my mum said no i can't go out. But she likes to make up for it in some other form. She bought me this really really cute black dress! it has the tuille sticking out (just what I've always wanted but she never liked me wearing) it's just gorgeous to me. I shd have taken a pic of it at the shop >.<

oh yh and my mum got an iPhone :O
lol anyways me tired and gonna sleepy sleep now.

being psychic runs in the family??

2009-01-18T10:16:00.004+08:00

omg this is so scarily accurate that I just have to blog about it like IMMEDIATELY!! I cannot stress it enough!

ok my mum told me about her dream and it was me and her going to watch this show right and in her dream the guy I like (yes most of you know who) actually asked me to the show but I told him I was going with my mum.

And then when my mum and I arrived at the show I saw him at the other end with his arms around this other girl and when he saw me he quickly put his arms down and according to my mum I was merajuk-ing like crazy I wouldn't talk to him or even look at him adn the dream ended there.

Note, this is my MUM'S dream!! And at the same time (around there) I was downstairs at the computer because I couldn't sleep I was awake until almost 4am cause I was thinking of whether to tell him or not and then I saw one of my friend online (u know who u r) and so i talked about it with my friend and then i brought up that I think he might like someone else (_____________) name to be private and then my friend told me she heard that it was true tht he does like her so I was... well didn't know how to react about it... Then after I went offline I talked to my abang (adam) about it and actually talking it out made me feel a way lot better that I could sleep again.

But the point is! She's right! DAMN FRIGGIN RIGHT!! and it happened the same time when I found out the truth too. lol I think God sent me a sign but for the wrong prayers. I was asking about Science or Environments not this! but then I'm very grateful I found out before it was too late. I could have made a HUGE mistake!

Well anyways speaking of Adam I miss him very very muchly. We only knew each other for a year plus before we became bro n sis because when I first met him my fren liked him and he didn't return the feeling and I sorta thought he was just.. lol you know.. but after getting to know him I realized I couldn't have lived without him! I love you loads Adam!!! thank you for being there for me whenever I need you. I haven't seen you in around 2 years already but our friendship is still strong and I hope forever it'll remain strong! Yr the best abang and one of the best friends ever!! Sad I coudl only find one photo of me and him :( this was the day I left Sri Inai. I'm happy I got to know him before that.

See I put this picture eventhough this was one of my worst hairstyles ever. See see I sayang you ha ha! here's to better love lives :)

cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares

2009-01-18T00:40:00.004+08:00

yes okay no one does maybe if someone is feeling suicidal at that moment they might, even I might but these past few days i don't know if it's the lack of social life or.. some otehr excuse that I can't think off but I've been feeling like, "Is anyone interested in me?" "Will I ever find the right one?" "Will this person be interested in me?" "Will I ever get married?" "Will it last?" "Will I get divorced and end up a single mum cause i'm too old for anyone?"

okay yeah i'm thinking way down far the line. My mum was commenting that I need to change. "Wear brighter colours/ high heels/ pink nail polish/ less dark makeup/ more decent hair etc."

But if i do that that means it's not me anymore.. I won't feel comfortable with myself. I've tried so many times for her just to please her but I just can't do it. I feel so fake that I don't wanna meet anyone. But she's like "nonsense, what guy would ever want you like that?"

I was about to answer her when she rephrased that, "What decent rich guy would want you?"

Ok yeah so i admit I haven't been in thebest relationships and no none of them were rich but come on what do you love someone for? their personality or their money? I'd pick personality any day! It gets me so frustrated how materialistic my mum is. I mean don't you think my dad would have been hurt by what she's said? and obviously her perception doesn't get me anywhere near happiness either.

She picks my friends. If they can't buy stuff for you she thinks their not worth hanging out with! I'm like WTF!! hello, that's not how you choose yr friends. My friends and I mean my really really close and bestest friends (I hope you know who you are :]) are given that special (long) title because I trust them I've known them for years or for a certain few just one year ;). They love me for me and have helped me out a lot when I needed help. Comforted me and adviced me when necessary. They know my flaws and not only accept that but try to correct me (when I asked them too). They drive all the way to my house eventhough my mum doesn't like them and even though they had to risk getting caught by their parents just to pick me up and hang out at least for one hour why? because they genuinely miss me and i miss her loads loads too!! yes Liz I'm talking to/about you!! ha ha

but seriously living with her though yeah she can give you most of the things you want (depends if she approves or how hard I beg) I think I'd prefer freedom more than these material things. ok no i'm not ungrateful I'm very grateful so grateful that eversince i've gotten my guitar i never asked her to go out well ok i did once but then i didn't in the end cause i decided not to trouble her but i bet she wouldn't have let me gone out anyways.. i feel so... trapped... and controlled. she criticizes everything!! from my hair to my T-shirt and shoes and even down to the books i read!!

bu what hurt me most is thinking maybe she's right i'll never find the right guy if i carry on being.. well me. but then again if i don't i'll be faking it and that won't end up very pretty either..

This is ME, hi I'm Tiffany, please to meet you please don't diss me =]

I can be gentle I can be sweet,

But if you mess with me you're dead meat.

hey omg that rhymed!

officially one month to go

2009-01-16T09:49:00.003+08:00

before i fly back to melbourne.. mixed emotions? yes, no, kinda, maybe, not really. xD it's 9.50am. gonna have the phone interview at 10am me nervous? yes, no, kinda, maybe, not really. xD

Well anyways, my mum wants hair dyed back black for CNY (lol black fro CNY... funny) cause the relatives (according to her and I second tht) when they see my hair will flip and start talking bad. But I don't wanna lose my streaks :S plus colouring will further damage my hair which is slowly recovering. So she gave another suggestion.. CHOP THE BLONDE PARTS OFF. O.O! Guess that kinda leaves me with the most obvious decision right? oooh 9.58am ok gonna call them now.. nervous? YES!

ok interview done.. :S hope i did fine.. scratch that i hope i did well. I stammered a lot and i had problems saying tolerable fast :S Peter was nice though :) choong wai hoe of all days you weren't online!! I asked all yr questions for you already.

does yr hormones say what yr heart says?

2009-01-15T23:17:00.003+08:00

try to forget about him? cannot also.. i mean can but didn't last long. just one simple word from him makes the feelings rush back inside me, flooding inside of me and spills out through my laughter when he says the smallest funny thing (something wrong with tht sentence).

talking to Liz and Lisa now.. oh and Ivan too and he's teasing me about speculating!! ha ha can't stop smiling. i get so happy talking to him and when he stops I'm a bit.. ugh "stupid Tiff" (Chris: 2008). It's like i'm empty again. i'm not a flooded sinking boat anymore :'(

do you realize? blah, he hardly reads my blog anyways. ok so what i did today. Spose to go to OU today to meet the Albert House people in KL.. but.. no transport and well i guess i cld've walked to the station like jun lin said but kinda far :P so i didn't but you know what? I DAMN FUCKING REGRETTTTTTTT!!!!!!! gah shd have gone shd have gone!!

so what i did? passed my time ACTUALLY reading magazines. normally to me magazines are a waste of trees, money, time and printing and actaully a whole lot of other things; waste of shelf space, waste of chat time, brain cells etc. but yeah i had nothing else to do so i was spose to take these to recylce but instead i started reading my mum's old issues of Vogue and Bazaar. I think my brain melted already..

when Kim came back we went to the playground for me to do some photography and sketching. oh and swings!! then played some guitar. on the way we saw this poor kitty (ok so it's a cat) look the ears are wounded and they're fresh and poor thing was quite thin. and all curled up. You just wanna hug and kiss it but we know the diseases tht could be on this thing.. btu still i felt my heart break a bit when i had no choice but to walk pass it.. poor baby.. oh i just rememebred the picture i saw on jun yeu's blog. at NS some guy wanted to dump the cat in the dustbin. To those of you who know me and my animal-loving self well, you'd know what i would have done to that person right.. :D

okay so i've decided science then medicine.. will i make it? God knows.. and here's another thing tht i was considering to attend but ivan just gave a worse case scenario thing and now i'm thinking twice.. well i kinda was already but this is twice twice so.. *shrugs* Help me!!!!

I'm a button mushroom!!

2009-01-14T22:50:00.003+08:00

well it'll be the type of funghi i wanna be because now i've been trapped at home for so long that i don't feel like going out anymore... no zest also.. =/ tomorrow it's suppose to be the albert house greeting. Ah all the random muffins ha ha. but then I've no transport.. well i kinda do now tahnsk to jun lin but then i haven't exactly got a reply from my mum about esok. Now I dunno if i can go.. or if i should go.. which would just be so plain weird since the 3 of us, jun lin, dummy and I planned for it and i was advertising it too..

did another recording and borrowed Kim's shirt for it ha ha but then deleted it in the end for personal reasons >.<

Kim and I went around our area again just to get away from SUMONE's constant nagging. and we went to this abandoned house and:

oh and then one of those rakan cop people (i think tht's the name for them) motorbiked past and then he did a U-turn cause he caught us creeping in. here was the convo (translated in english so joyce can understand):

Mr Cop: you're not scared? (to enter the house)

Me: Nope, why should we be?

Mr Cop: seriously not scared?

Me: Nope just taking pictures.

Mr Cop: You two live around this area?

Me: yeap

Mr Cop: where?

Me: SS*/*

Mr Cop: with yr family?

Me: uh-huh

Mr Cop: get home safe k?

Me: k *smiles and waves until he's gone... and then goes back inside abandoned house*

oh and then took some "emo" pics for fun as you can see i chose a bad time to wear that stupid Sg Day shirt. ha ha.. so anyways... Science or Environments?.. gah

midlife crisis at 18

2009-01-13T21:35:00.003+08:00

spNO SCRATCH THAT I'M STILL 17... omg how hard can this be. everyone knows what they want but i don't. And as I've said many times i hate planning waht to do in the next 10 minutes let alone plan my future!!!

and it's either Science or Environments. thses two are like totally different. there's that stupid TH ROAD NOT TAKEN poem again:

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

And Literature comes back to haunt me =S, nah i love literature actually and i've found a poem i've known since i was 15 to relate to.....

I'm so messed up..

here's the deal.

SCIENCE:

after science get into med (kinda risky) if i don't get in med what to become? science teacher ha ha, pharmacist?
i'll make my parents fucking happy + proud if i make it
but very costly
and altogther it'll be the most 10 years i think, i might as well rare cats and become a nun as well
but guaranteed a job, it's a tough course after that but it'll most likely be what it's worth
i'll get to go UK in the end

ENVIRONMENTS:

5 years only plus archi
i'm pretty confident in this subject that i'll do well ha ha kinda cocky talk, learnt it from my dummy
not sure about the prospects
will be pretty busy with projects and all that i think but can tahan jsut i need to get over my inclination to procrastinate
quite competitive i believe
it seems an easy course but what is it worth in the end?
get to socialize more in a corporate line and i can explore interior designing too and maybe journalism (yay!)

ok tht's just roughly what was on my mind la atm

oh and Juju. congratz! ha ha

what i like about me

2009-01-13T18:19:00.001+08:00

Do you think you are pregnant?
no. defo

If the year consisted of only one season, which would you choose?
autumn or spring

You have to get a piercing, what do you get?
tragus

You have to get a tattoo, where and what do you get?
at the pelvis

What are you wearing?
shirt and shorts

Who do you miss?
my happier self

When is the last time someone of the opposite sex gave you a hug?
cant remember

Plans for tomorrow?
get thru the day

Is anything wrong?
loads

Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
which one?

Are your friends taller than you?
a few are

What were you doing this morning at 5:30?
dreaming i found my adam doll. gawd it's haunting me!

What were you doing 2 hours ago?
hanging curtains as an apology to my mum

Do you like the ocean?
yeah sometimes i wanna drown in it

Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
uhhhh... alone

How many windows are open on your computer?
9

Was the first person you talked to today male or female?
Liz!!! she's heither she's a ninja ha ha ha

Who was the last person you rode in a car with?
mum

What woke you up this morning?
bright lights

Do you know anyone named Matt?
not personally but there was my ex but Matt was just what i called him

When was the last time you talked to a sibling?
3 secs ago. we were talking about funghi

Do you wear glasses?
yeap

Are you currently jealous?
of a celebrity grr i want their life!

What are you doing today?
cathching up with my Dunia Baru series on youtube. i love tht show!

What jewelery are you currently wearing?
earrings and those black bands

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
i dont smoke so yes, let's keep it tht way

Have you ever in any way, been betrayed by someone you trust?
yes

How late did you stay up last night and why?
til 2.30am cause i was searching for my adam doll..

Are you picky about who you give your number to?
kinda

What do you prefer: McDonalds or Burger King?
McD all the way

Would you rather go to Greece or Hawaii?
uhhh.... so hard to decide!!!!

Did you have a good birthday this year?
we'll see :)

cannot tahan her!!

2009-01-13T15:34:00.001+08:00

yes Liz you know who... and you know why.. and i'll bear in mind what you said :) <3 u loads!!!!